John Amos Comenius

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Komensky 02.jpg
Jan Ámos Komenský / John Amos Comenius
Basic data



under the zucchetto


1592 – 1670


long time ago


died of Black Death


unfortunatelly Czech


protestant preacher, bishop, tunnel builder (an embezzler), pedagogue, writer, cantor, emigrant, collaborator, theologist, philosopher etc. etc. etc.


they died of Black Death


For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about John Amos Comenius.

John Amos Comenius (Czech: Jan Amos Komenský; Slovak: Ján Amos Komenský; German: Johann Amos Comenius; Polish: Jan Amos Komeński; Hungarian: Comenius Ámos János, in other sources: Hungarian: Comenius-Szeges János; Latinized: Iohannes Amos Comenius) (28 March 1592 – 15 November 1670) was a Czech-speaking Moravian preacher, bishop, tunnel builder (an embezzler), pedagogue, writer, cantor, emigrant, collaborator, theologist, philosopher, educational reformer etc. etc. etc.

Life and work[edit]

Komenský was born roughly in the second millennium after Christ in Uherský Brod (Hungary Ford in English) in Moravistan (current Czech Republic). His family often moved, so his birth certificate was lost and several trivial villages in the neighborhood also claim his birth.

While John should have gone to the orderly catholic school, he instead schmucked around and wrote a dictionary, but it was burned later. He also taught and took orders to be a protestant preacher. He preached and was against the Catholic Church, much like the Reformation, Enlightenment, Napoleon, Nazis, Communists and the European Union. Communists took note of him when he escaped after the White Mountain Bottle incident, and he remains free to this day. Saint Adalbert of Prague, Saints Cyril and Methodius (aka Jára Cimrman) deserved much more than Komenský. He fled abroad into exile because he was against the Catholic Church. He deserved his exile fate; after all, he let his family die of the Black Death rather than pay their boat fare to Sweden.

Indeed, he escaped to Sweden; there, Protestants didn't matter to anyone. He shat away his money on Swedish educational reform. He also drew a map of Moravistan and gave it to Swedes so that they would not burn down Moravistan during the Thirty Years' War. Then he escaped to Holland, where he finally died.


Komenský was an educational reformer; his opinions were mainly pedagogal. He thought everyone had to learn and yet that no one had to learn, because everyone has to learn at least a little something in life whether he wants to or not. He wrote schoolbooks (like Orbis Pictus, the first picture Latin schoolbook) that no one uses today. He invented new kinds of schools ("Play Schools," for example) and other rubbish like teaching without corporal punishment.


Komenský wrote, but his writings were of such little importance that they were all burned, so nobody reads them now. This is the reason why Uncyclopedia doesn't write about them.