HowTo:Become RAHB

The factual accuracy of this article is absolutely indisputable.

Who are you going to trust: this Uncyclopedia article, or your lying eyes?

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“The cavalry has arrived.”

~ RAHB talking about his dick.

“What can I say? You've got me pinned. I've been thinking lately of moving on to broccoli, but you know...carrots are good for your eyes and stuff.”

~ RAHB being bat fuck insane.

So…you want to be RAHB? Who can blame you? Who wouldn’t want to be totally lame cool like RAHB?

What's that? Are you asking me, “How do I become RAHB?” Well I’m glad you asked. All you need to do is follow five simple steps, and then you’re RAHB!

Step 1: Murder RAHB

Now I know this may sound a little harsh, but don't you dare pretend you haven't thought about this before, I AM SICK OF YOUR LIES! There should be no problem ‘taking care of’ RAHB as long as you use the correct weaponry, but if you do need help, ask help from his adoptees, who will supply you with the unViagra needed to incapata incapiti RAHBicide kill him.

Even the Cookie Monster wants to be RAHB!

Step 2: Nominate your own articles for VFH

When you're RAHB, your articles are so cool that people won’t nominate them for VFH, so you’ll have to nominate them yourself. Be sure to bribe and threaten users so they vote for you, or else they won’t vote, since they will think that they are not cool enough to vote for your articles unless bribed or threatened.

Step 3: Listen to bad music

No one knows why RAHB listens to Frank Zappa, not even RAHB.

Step 4: Talk obsessively about your dick

You’re not RAHB unless you’ve got an obsession with dicks. Talk about how long and mighty it is, and don’t worry that you're lying about your dick (RAHB's is only 2 inches).

Step 5: Complain about everything

Our researchers agree: foreplay is important if you want to be RAHB.

Whenever someone says something you don't agree with, ask him or her, “Is This Some Kind of Fucking Joke?!” then surprise them.

What now?

Now that the real RAHB is gone and you're acting like RAHB, people will think you're RAHB and you can take over his place on Uncyclopedia! AND BAN ANYONE WHO THINKS OVERWISE!

See also

• RAHB
• RAHB
• RAHB
• RAHB
• RAHB
• RAHB
• RAHB
• RAHB
• RAHB
• RAHB
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