The Godly Breadcrumb
The Godly Breadcrumb is a legendary piece of breadcrumb that is said to have holy powers. It has become the central piece of worship for a relatively new emerging religion, known as Breadcrumbism.
The Rise Of Breadcrumbism[edit | edit source]
The year was 1993, and in a small town in the Midwest, something strange was happening. A single bread crumb, seemingly ordinary in every way, had become the center of a strange new religion.
It started with a local baker, who claimed to have seen the face of Jesus in the crumb. Word spread quickly, and soon people were flocking to the bakery to see the miraculous crumb for themselves.
Some believed it was a sign from God, while others thought the baker was on crack. But as the days went by, the crumb took on a life of its own. People began to leave offerings at the bakery, hoping to receive a blessing from the holy crumb.
News crews descended on the town, eager to cover the story of the worshipped bread crumb. And as the world watched, the townspeople continued to pray to the crumb, hoping for miracles and guidance
As the days turned into weeks, the fervor surrounding the bread crumb only grew. People began to believe that the crumb had the power to grant wishes and bring good fortune. But with this belief came a darker side.
Some of the townspeople began to make sacrifices to the bread crumb, believing that it would please the divine presence that they believed resided within it. At first, it was small things like flowers and coins. But as the fervor grew, the sacrifices became more extreme.
Some offered their most prized possessions, while others even offered up livestock. And then, one day, they planned to sacrifice a young woman. Despite the pleas of the young woman and the efforts of a few brave souls who tried to stop them, the worshippers went through with their plan. The sacrifice was made, and the young woman’s life was taken in the name of the bread crumb.
The town was in shock, but even as they mourned the loss of the innocent woman, many still clung to their belief in the power of the crumb. The police, who were meant to protect the town, were also caught up in the fervor. They turned a blind eye to the atrocities that had been committed, choosing instead to worship the crumb themselves. This is called Breadcrumbism.
Religious practices[edit | edit source]
The religion's core beliefs include sacrifices, and dressing like a bread slice on May 3rd, which is known as "Holiest Day" to the religion's followers. The religion has about 2,300 Human followers and 811,319 Ant followers. The religion's structure goes like this: You have a church, which is led by a Sigma. That Sigma obeys the Holy Sigma, who resides in the micronation of the Holy Bread Hill in Northwest Ohio. The religion is known for being believed in by the most batshit insane Ohio residents and the smartest of ants. Caffeine is consumed commonly by these motherfuckers.
Some of the religious practices are:
- taking excessively large shits daily
- human sacrifices
- bombing iran
- genocide
- cannibalism
- breaking pieces of wood over babies' heads
- dressing as a bread slice on May 3rd.
- have a bread-shape face.
Location[edit | edit source]
These practices mostly take place at Holy Bread Hill. Officially the Holiest Holy Theocracy of Holy Bread Hill, Holy Bread Hill is a small micronation measuring just 500 Acres on a small hill in Northwest Ohio.
The nation is recognized by nobody, and is recognized by the United Nations as a joke. It is ran by Sir Ben Dover, the Holiest Sigma of Breadcrumbism. The nation has no parliament. In terms of government politics, it is very similar to Vatican City.
The only official religion and only practiced religion of the nation is Breadcrumbism. It keeps itself alive via trading breadcrumbs for literal plastic waste with Waffle House.
Beliefs[edit | edit source]
Some say that if you cum on the bread crumb it will give you godly powers such as:
- A shit cannon
- a cum stream that is 10x longer
- if your a female you grow a penis
- farts that smell so bad that they knock you out
