Heartagram
“You're giving me a heartagram”
The heartagram is awesome. It's like a heart and a pentagram, it's so deep, like good and evil balanced. That's how I am inside, deep pools of good and evil, evil always about to consume. I should write that down somewhere and give it to that girl who wouldn't go to the eighth-grade dance with me. Then maybe she'll understand me and the darkness inside. A lot of heartagram stuff has the name HIM on it.
Heartagrams are like, the essence of my soul. So I have all the heartagram stuff. I have the hoodies, the arm socks, the regular socks, the shoes, the shoelaces, eleven shirts, the jeans, the necklace, the belt, the belt buckle, three posters, the bracelet, the skateboard, the boxers, the hat, stickers all over my binder and locker and the bass I play in the school orchestra, the watch, the wristband, the keychain, the earrings (my mom won't let me wear them so I keep them in the heartagram pewter jewelry box), the messenger bag, the jacket, the lighter, the ID case, the CD visor, the candle tin, the bedsheets, the pillowcases, and heartagrams drawn all over every other damn thing I own. I would have a tattoo but my parents won't let me, so I just drew one on my arm and go over it with a sharpie whenever it starts fading. I even this one CD of some band that uses heartagrams all the time. I don't really like the music on it, but it looks pretty cool.
One time I wrote this poem for that girl who wouldn't go out with me and I drew heartagrams up and down the sides. I don't remember the poem. It was mostly Nirvana lyrics I printed off of the internet because I heard she liked that band, so I thought if I gave her some of their stuff and said it was mine she would like it and want to be my girlfriend. She thinks I'm a poser. I wish there was some way I could show her the real me, but I'm trapped inside this cage of my sadness. I should write that down, too. I could write her another poem and show her the deepness of my soul. And before you say anything, I am NOT an emo, OK? I'm a punk. I am SO punk. I have all the punk merchandise. Emos are all losers. I'm alternative.