Equestrianism
Equestrianism (from Latin equester, equestr-, horseman, horse) more often known as riding, horseback riding (American English) or horse riding (British English)[Original Bullshit] is supposedly a sport in which people generally trot round and round a course being marked on grace and mounting and dismounting. It is in fact a highly dangerous drug event in which the cameras simply slow down what is being shot. For example when on TV you see a horse swaying gracefully as it walks and the judges giving it 10/10, it is in fact a horse vibrating from a drug such as speed or something, and the judges giving 10/10 for drug choice and usage.
Popularity[edit | edit source]
Equestrian is basically an excuse for the Upper Classes to do drugs. It is therefore very popular. It has replaced Opium bars in high classes society as the 'Norm'.
Terminology[edit | edit source]
A certain amount of terminology is applied to every sport, but none so much as to the slightly erotic terminology of this nature. For example, 'Jockeys', 'mount' their 'steeds', 'ride' them for about half an hour, then 'dismount' and 'go to the change rooms to get dressed afterwards'. *wap wap*
Attire[edit | edit source]
For those attending events like these, the attire is formal, for ladies generally tight, shiny and with large hats. For men slightly less formality is needed, but isn't that the case with all sporting events. For the racers, there is an attire of black and white, probably symbolizing the approaching death due to their habits. The horses themselves are actually 'reigned' but this is just a bizarre equestrian bondage term. The horses enjoy it nevertheless.
Obstacles[edit | edit source]
The obstacles that one must weave around are generally of a nature that are shipped off straight after the event to a sex warehouse for resale to the adult industry. For example, in many downtown sleazy pole joints, the poles a striped, not because they painted them, but because they just came off an equestrian field.
Sport?[edit | edit source]
Equestrian is nevertheless classified as a sport along with such events as Orgys, Ping Pong and Gamecube marathons. It is however the only sport of this league to be allowed into the Olympics. Critics are still puzzled about this one.