Public school
Public school is one of the many dangers of Communism. The first public schools were built in New York during the 1840s in a vain attempt to combat poverty by re-educating poor people with useful skills like being mentally abused, science, reading and hygiene.
Students who attend public schools have measurable forms of retardation similar to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. However, some scientists contend this is to be expected, because the poor spend all the money they don't send to televangelists on booze. Public school students are unkempt, rowdy, oversexed and out of control. Private school kids are needless to say very jealous.
A public school can easily be identified by the strong smell of grain alcohol and semen that wafts from its doors, and the young male inmates having shit behaviour.
Every school has at least a few lovers, a shit ton of female bisexuals, at least two lesbians/gays, and a few tons of people who think school is a fucking joke.
Schools are known to do the following:
- Assign students with Math, which is known to immune students "Mental Abuse to Humans", or in Australia, "Mental Abuse To Human Species", as there they call it maths.
- Assign students with Homework, AKA "Half Of My Energy Wasted On Random Knowledge."
- Assign PE, AKA "Physical Exorcism, Physical Execution, Physical exaustion, or its family-friendly name, Pointless Exercise."
- Promote the use of condoms
How a public school works
Let's say you have a group of kids. They're smart, but no one has ever shown them how to be smart. Of course, all the teachers think they're fuck-ups, just because they're all pregnant and do heroin and rob liquor stores. Until... a former-marine turned substitute shows up!
Now, she knows the young people are all hip to the rap and gangs and the TV. So, she tells them, "Poetry isn't the gay".
And then one of the gang members challenges her. And he's all like, "Why don't you service my Lyndon Baines Johnson, bee-yatch!?"
And she uses some of that Marine Corps kung-fu shit and she twist his arm around and he cries like a little bitch while she hollers, "PWNED!!!"
And all the brown and black girls are like, "We love you!! U R THE ROXORS!!! LOL!"
And the gang leaders, with the obligatory white male villain so as to avoid charges of stereotypes negroes as hopeless causes of violence, all walk out and are like, "You watch your ass, bee-yatch! I will totally pwn your beast of burden."
The sub now sits the kids down and tells them about Oscar Wilde. All the inner city kids are amazed, and say, "That was one Wilde mothafucka, yo!" They spend the rest of their lives unable to spell the word "wild" properly.
She then teaches the kids that rap is just another form of poetry, by setting the works of Oscar Wilde to a beat. Soon, little nappy-headed hos are all running around quoting Oscar Wilde.
Also, school makes kids masturbate to their teachers when very bored, because although your teacher may be 50, and her tits are droopy, and she is VERY VERY wrinkly, you can still find the tiny, tiny flame within that bag of bones.
And also, school sucks these days because the teachers act like gays and are mostly snitches and you learn about sex and homosexuality, I mean, who cares about that?
The cafeteria
The cafeteria is where teachers get shot. Guards are paid to force march students into the cafeteria while teachers retreat to their break rooms to smoke, drink liquor and bitch about their union jobs. Students, meanwhile, are force-fed a slurry of lard, hay and sawdust that ensures they will grow fat and be easily manageable in the inevitable riots.
It is during this time that the male and female students pair off to have sex. This is an essential part of the life cycle of the poor. If a poor person fails to reproduce during this period of their lives, they begin to undergo mutations that eventually result in getting a job, paying their bills and cleaning the cockroaches out of their apartment. If poor people make it to the age of 18 without becoming pregnant or impregnating another poor person, they may even go on to college, at which point they will be rejected by other poor people.
Thankfully, due to the lack of condoms in public schools, 96.7% of all poor people do reproduce while attending a public school. The remaining 3.3% are gay, and will not be allowed to make it to the age of 18. This also applies to those who are children of Anti-Vaxx parents.
Assemblys
Public School Assemblys are an old medieval torture practice that is still commonly used today in public schools. The form of torture is usually given out as punishment for a low average GPA between all the students, which is obviously to blame on drugs, not the teachers. Public Schools tend to believe the more terrible an assembly is, the more scared the kids will be to keep away from drugs and stay in school.
Public School Assemblys where also used as scare tactics in the Vietnam War. The United States Army would drop in a fat, 40 year old white woman via parachute and scare the Viet Minh away by talking about drugs and her made-up past life. The act worked until during a battle, the US accidentally dropped Gary Busey onto the battlefield, scaring away both sides and causing an american "retreat" from Vietnam.
Despite what public school faculty think, these assemblys tend to not work. It is believed that the faculty are either bribed or under the effects of a "Black Magic Spell" or in most cases, both.
In some cases, however, the teachers just want an excuse to sit alone in a room for 2.5 periods and cry in a corner.
Assembly Tactics
Common tactics that are used in today's public school assemblies are quite pitiful, but, the tax money receivers say otherwise. These include:
- Be as white as possible. No exceptions.
- For extra better results, joining the KKK works also, showing you are literally 100% white and encourage white supremacy. This is not recommended for those who hate the KKK, and for those who know that the kids know about the KKK.
- Make up a fake story, and make it as legitimate as possible.
- Find a YouTube video about a kid whose life fell apart from drugs, claim it's yours, and (this is important) forget about the watermark, then wonder why all the kids are laughing.
- If you're alone, claim you were born and raised in one of the towns of the nearby area of the school. (For better or worse results, pronounce the name of the town wrong.)
- Make horrible, dim-witted, cringy jokes that can be considered a borderline scare tactic.
- Blame everything on drugs, and shout as much propaganda North Korea style.
- Make sure that the kids know that drugs are to be blamed on teenagers for promoting drug use, so kids have a reason to bully teenagers.
- Hold as many fundraisers in attempt to gather as much money as possible, disguised for the funds being used as "stopping drug use." This is recommended for those who don't get paid enough to do assemblies.
- (This is recommended if you want to gain as much money as possible) Make sure to point out that the kids who don't fund the fundraiser will be considered "drug supporters" and tell them that drug supporters are bad and they will have the death penalty as a consequence. Then you will see your payment skyrocket faster than the stocks in the 1920s.
Assembly Effects
Unsurprisingly, assembly has been linked to multiple tragic events, such as boredom, massive rioting, suicide and that really mouldy sandwich just lying on the floor that teachers want kids to clean up but no one is going to do it because drugs. Many kids have come from assembly and burnt down classrooms or teachers, to the cheers of their friends. A famous example of this is when the joker burnt down Gotham city after a particularly long assembly where a white man talked about the worst things of being a gay black male, then walked off with his wife. After three surveys into the assembly system, the government has decided to increase mandatory Assemblys. Also unrelated is that a school shooting just occurred right now because of an assembly.
School violence
Public school students are subjected to constant violence. They begin their day by being smacked around by the principal for fumbling the ball on the last play against White Prep High School. They go to class, where they are assaulted by members of a rival gang. They are then threatened by their attractive blonde female teachers and forced into depraved sex acts.
During gym class, many male students are brutally gang-raped, with the encouragement of their teacher in the hope it will "make a man out of you... while I film it." Female students are often filmed undressing. Sometimes, if the teacher is a dyke, they will be "asked" to perform oral.
Once the school day is over, they are forced to play sports in order to avoid being sold into the Asian sex slave trade. After practice is over, they go home and are chained to a radiator by their dad until supper time. After dinner, their uncle may come by to molest them.
By bedtime, the average public school student has been subject to 13.2 acts of violence and sexual depravity.
School shootings
Kids who attend public school are maladjusted. They've been raised by drunken fathers who burn them with cigarettes while they force the mother-figure of the household to turn tricks for a living.
Consequently, many kids in public schools eventually decide to murder everyone around them. This is OK. They're just expressing themselves. Besides, how would we know whether the music is really working if we stopped kids from killing people at school?
Every year in the United States over 15,000 students are the victims of school shootings. This accounts for nearly 33% of all crime in the US, and 99.99999% of the shit that goes down in Florida.
Many school shootings are misattributed to too much TV, rap music, or that damn Roger Ebert. However, numerous studies have shown that most school shootings can be traced back to a lack of sex and drugs among a group of students who mostly play Facebook and Myspace. A noticeable uptick in school shootings occurred following the cancellation of Farscape.
Natural Guinea Student Diplomas
- Culture - culturally influenced by social dementia, are stored in their cells acceptances charges knowledge. helpless by being injected fake dirt of humanity in the various disciplines which are paid teachers' salaries.
- Behavior - lies on the health hazards of auto level to what adults tell themselves, are punished violence. that this is part of a large-load of shit and toxic waste in the course of construction of its peculiarities. social currents are expressly sent madness put to where the box unaware knowledge are friends of Cenobites Pinhead from the movie Hellraiser.
- Taxes - made to believe in the sayings values by the teacher, the school is an environment where social interaction are presented by the executioners charge you defeat imposed on the notes of the school newsletter. where groups are formed in wisdom of popular culture and participation wise jokes, that they polluted themselves between the system corruptions.
- Times - has been digitally upgraded to Cybernetics deployment time understanding slaves citizens. that in learning to blame acceptances charges are made in severe economic and social interests. constantly updated and adapted to various values as time to drink beer, do drugs, and being hunted by executioners of the economy.
Certain Cases
- There are certain cases where ugly girls will wack off to people doing school-related things and prevent them from actually studying. This has become a nuisance, especially for people with high attractiveness level. They need to stop wacking off to people doing school, because some people are trying to get a degree. Usually the ugly girl wacking off are doing the same school subjects as the victims.
Authors: Super hot Asian guy and his brown South Asian companions