Bradaway

Bradaway is a world famous street in the town of Kakplaas, South Africa. Its claim to fame is the fact that it plays host to about 246 of the world's worst musicals and plays each year.

History

Travelers from Sproetfontein to Fraitjiesburg would always stay in Kakplaas to rest, bath, rape the locals and update their blogs. In 1912 Guy Nice, a Japanese person, would be the first to suggest holding a play to entertain each other. He was killed shortly afterwards for doing so.

None the less the idea later resurfaced after a declaration of bankruptcy by the Kakplaas brothel in 1914 and the first play was held shortly after that. The play was widely enjoyed because of the humorous nature of the script and the fact that the viewers were drunk into all oblivion.

The first playhouse, The Fat Man's Theater, was opened in the street of Bradaway in 1915. It had a notable number of patrons who visited the theater to enjoy it's in-house brewery, kitten huffing room, peep shows, “petting zoo” and, occasionally, the plays.

The success of the theater prompted the opening of various other theaters in the same area, few of which survived financially with the exception, of course, of the world famous “Pacific Theater of Operations.” This theater is dedicated to hosting “operas modified for the modern generation”, or what they call “operations”.

Shows

The Bradaway sign shortly before it was dismantled because "It ruins the perfect Windows background shot."

Even though Bradaway shows are considered to be of the lowest possible standard, some have enjoyed mild popularity. This is probably due to the fact most people consider “Jurassic Park” to be Steven Spielberg's greatest work while they continually adjusted the color setting on their TVs when they watched “Schindler's List” on VHS.

Some of the shows include:

Snakes of an Opera

This musical follows the story of the magical singing snakes that live under the fictional Kakplaas Opera House. The most famous quote from the entire musical is: “Get these dastardly snakes out from underneath our dastardly Opera House!” The line is supposed to be sung on a tonic, first inversion triad in C minor (see minor).

Finding Nemo: The Play

Many a critic critically criticized this work because of it's misleading title. It is in fact more of an exhibition than a play. When the curtain is raised, a giant fish tank is revealed. The curtain is then lowered again after three hours.

IRC: The musical

This musical was the staring point for many a hit such as “Namedrop me”, “/whois that grl?” and, of course, “Oh My God, Roll On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off, Start Typing Faster You!”.

The Bradaway School of Drama

Opened in 2005, the Bradaway School of Drama was never actually intended to teach any subject related to the performance arts. It is in fact just a normal high school. The name however doesn't completely lack relevance to the school.

During the opening ceremony the mayor of Kakplaas had forgotten his glasses. He subsequently used comically big scissors to cut the school's first headmaster's middle finger off. One month later an enraged student used a handgun to shoot and kill 5 people. A stray bullet hit a black cat, which made some students feel very uneasy. Three weeks later police raided the school and found not only around 235 kilograms (about 3000 pounds or 6000 US dollars, depending on the quality) of marijuana, but also found the vending machine conveniently stocked with a wide array of illegal substances.

After the raid there was a silence of about 5 months, the only notable incident being a student flipping off the headmaster and daring him to do the same, much to the amusement of the other students and teachers. The school was ultimately shut down when the South African Minister of Education visited the school only to find one of the grade 10 classes engaging in a sexual orgy. The good Minister was furious when her request to join in was “respectfully declined.”

See Also

• Broadway
• Hollywood