Batnip
“Keep it away from him.”
“It's not Catnip.”
“The Next Competition is to Eat 1,000 Flakes of Batnip.”
Batnip is a waste of time to make and eat. Especially if you feed it to a Bat. Based off of research, if you feed batnip to a bat, it’ll turn into a cat and vice versa.
How to Make Batnip[edit | edit source]
Step 1: Get some Celery[edit | edit source]
Go to your Wardrobe,and pull out some Celery. It’s Rotten?Well this recipe works best with 2 year old celery anyways.
Step 2: Use a hammer to smack the celery.[edit | edit source]
The celery is obviously in need of some bruising. What better way to do it than using a Hammer? You have a hammer at home, right?
Step 3: Put it in a bowl with a Furby. Eggs and Tomatoes are optional.[edit | edit source]
The Celery seems lonely, so why not add a Furby? Although anything can be added,I usually put in 3 Eggs and a Tomato.Why those? 3 eggs help with making the bruised celery and Furby more happy and willing to go along with each other, and a tomato helps give batnip its signature red color.
Step 4: Mix while putting in baking powder and Soda.[edit | edit source]
Mix it using a Bottle and put in baking powder and Soda to make it into a batter. Then…
Step 5: Put it in the Oven.[edit | edit source]
You could also use a Microwave or a Charmander. Heat it in 364 degrees for 30 minutes. spend 3 minutes of cooling it down.
Step 6: Cut it into Flakes.[edit | edit source]
You can do this via one of those industrial level french fry makers used to make McDonald’s Fries.
Uses for Batnip[edit | edit source]
It’s an Ingredient Used in Most Subway Resturaunts’ Sandwiches and Gyros. it’s also used in the Following foods
List of Foods where Batnip is a Amazing Seasoning[edit | edit source]
- Pizza
- Money
- Trout
- Pretty much Any Sandwich containing Bacon
- Avocado Toast
- Bat-Shaped Cookies
- Dominos
- Plastic
- New Jersey (If it Existed..)
- Joycons
- Peppers
List of foods where Batnip is a Terrible Seasoning[edit | edit source]
Pretty much every other food.
In Popular Media[edit | edit source]
The Main Antagonist of Def Jam: Fight for NY, Pitban, is an anagram for batnip.
In the popular cartoon show Jimmy Neutron, Jimmy’s mom is shown making Batnip.
In Battle for Dream Island, 1 of the competitions consisted of 5 contestants of each team Eating 1,000 flakes of batnip.