B& Aid
“I got a B+ in Fail Studies!”
“GIVE US YOUR FUCKING BENSON!”
B& Aid is an Internet phenomenon that became a film and live music event due to widespread fame. According to legend, a random internet user spontaneously came up with B& Aid as a theory of sorts - it has no real meaning, it was just two words put together. Slowly, this idea began to spread and evolve throughout forums all over the world. Some interpreted it as a method of aiding the poor B& people from wiki sites. Others interpreted it as a call to arms, a battle cry stating "VANDALISE EVERYTHING!1!!!eleven". Kids on MySpace put their razorblades down and placed their hands upon their keyboard to type B& Aid over and over again until they bled from at least two orifices and one set of appendages. Users of Facebook looked up from their chats to jailed convicts and got a glint in their eye. The O RLY owl faded back into the murky quagmire of passed legend, although echoes of its voice can still be heard if you listen closely.
The media legend of B& Aid[edit | edit source]
The legend of B& Aid was soon so widespread that even Hollywood actors had heard of it:
“All there is is B& Aid.”
“I want these motherfuckin' white men off this motherfuckin' plane!”
B& Aid: the Movie took off from this sudden publicity: - all there was were the words B& Aid upon which they built a long, complicated plot about a secret agent (played by Chris Rock) and his missions to flame African internet users while trying to get the girl (played by Paris Hilton) who he has not actually met but has seen her picture, e-mail address and mobile phone number on 4chan.
After months of advertisement on MTV (there was genuinely a 2-hour special of non-stop B& Aid: the Movie adverts) the idea was picked up by fashionable celebrities (Bono, Bob Geldof, Chris Martin) and various others who would do anything for a mention in the national newspapers. These people set out to spam and flame in every website they could get their hands on (even creating some in the process). In honour of B& Aid these celebrities campaigned for a national holiday dedicated to B& Aid and all the flamewars, vanity and spamming (particularly in popular wikis). This request was acknowledged - George W. Bush and Tony Blair (English prime minister at the time) both guaranteed that the public shall have what they want, in fact anything they want, and all they will have to do is wait for the first of Octember.
A one-off worldwide musical festival was organised in celebration and a collaboration of various hitherto forgotten pop stars came together to record the legendary Christmas single "Do They Know Y0UR M0M'S A N00B?" which got to number one in most billboard and sales charts throughout the world.
The effect of B& Aid[edit | edit source]
The effect of B& Aid caused Africa's economy to collapse because of a massively exceeded bandwidth; but don't worry, something will be done about it. Some mention the possibility of a meeting called the GR8 Summit, while others suggest setting up another charity to rival and attempt to shut down the others.
The biggest effect however was on the famous online encyclopedia Wikipedia. After a deluge of vandalism that overwhelmed even the best of their admins, it now appears that the site has been renamed "Uncyclopedia" and has discovered a fetish for homoerotic literacy and martial arts. Indeed, if you check the recent changes you will always find a new page entitled "Adam Smithson is a fucking twat" and a page will also be blanked. Conspiracists suggest this may be a rection of revenge by the long-suffering Africans, while others think it may be just the after effects of the vandalism explosion, much like nuclear fallout is to nuclear bombs.
“BARBIE is a fucking bitch called Jodie McGenericname who eats poop”
“Barbie is actually a manufactured plastic child's toy. Just to clear things up.”
“Why do Africans have such big heads?”
The conclusion is a still-ongoing one. Events are still occurring that continue the legend of B& Aid.
“When you are born, your grave is prepared for you.”