Aldrich Hazen Ames (born May 26, 1941) is a former Central Intelligence Agency counter-intelligence officer and analyst, who was recently promoted to Supreme Overlord of the World.
Ames worked for the CIA, but was found guilty of treason. When government officials came to arrest him he showed his true colors, and instantly shed his skin which contained Godzilla and a Martian combined. He easily escaped the government and took over the world. Currently his job entails that he run the world into the ground, destroying such countries as the Luxemburg, Poland, and naturally Kyrgyzstan. Alrdich Ames graduated from McLean High School when he was 18, that was over 1000 years ago. Currently Ames is recorded as the second oldest man in the world, next to Chuck Norris. Overall Ames is the most successful and the richest man in the world.
Ames was born in Salem, Massachusetts during the witch trial period. As a little boy Ames was taught many Satanic rituals including human sacrifice, Dr. Phil, and naturally World Domination. Ames then went to Harvard College, where he majored in Treason, with a minor in philosophy. After graduation Ames then went into Witch Craft, mainly focused in making potions. He is credited with making such potions as anti-pimple cream, anti-wrinkle cream, and a poision known as Cynaide.
Ames then was elected to the office of the presidency. After about 2 years he decided that this office was not challenging enough for him. He first took over the Falkland Islands, then Ireland. After taking control of Europe India and China declared war. World War I ensued, followed by the down fall of all countries against Aldrich Ames.
Once he had defeated the enemy Ames consolidated all of his power into one office, Supreme Overlord of the World. Once assuming this office legislation was passed to promote Ames to demi-god, followed in 50 years to the promotion of Surpeme God of the Universe. Once given the responibilty of the Universe Ames continued to drive Earth into the ground. Such leaders as George W Bush, Tony Blair, Margaret Thatcher, and Charles DeGaulle have risen to terrorize the world. Some of the best leaders have also been allowed to rise to power including Saddam Hussein, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and naturally Vladimir Lenin. Since leaving the earth to fend for itself Ames has increased the Universal economy, decreased planetary aggretion, and decreased palentary violence and crime.
McLean High School Cult
Ames is credited with creating the McLean HS cult. This cult is known to rule the world through the vanilla bean market, and through their fascist regime Starbucks. This exclusive cult is known to encompass the Free Masons, the Black Panthers, and the Girl Scouts. This dangerous and influential cult has been credited with ruling much of the world, through their influence of the Champagne and the Cognac industries.
Many countries are known to harbor this cult including:
Most other countries have one or two members, however, but not the same amount of population as the above listed countries. These members are part of the economic elite, controlling the computers and other technologies that are required to operate a country.
The mission of the cult is to control all aspects of the global economy, and to take control of all governments. By leading this organization Ames tried to gain control of all aspects of the world. He was able to accomplish this task when he became President, and by marrying Queen Elizabeth I. Once he had accomplished this task Ames was promoted to Supreme Overlord of the World. The McLean HS cult now controls all aspects of the world, by placing mind control agents in vanilla products and girl scout cookies.