al-Khwarizmi

“$1+1=...?$”

~ al-Khwarizmi to his student

“2!!!”

~ The student

“Simple form of $-2(2x^{2}+3x-4)$?”

~ al-Khwarizmi

“AGAIN, THAT fuc*ing math!?”

~ The student

al-Khwarizmi was a mathematician who is very crazy about mathematics. Instead of spending his time just talking to you, he would just talk about math, math, and math. Al-Khwarizmi is the discoverer of the number 0, and he is revered by nerd people because of his creation called Alcamel Algebra. Even though Muslims revere him, the fact is that Muslims never studied his creation of Algebra, they just admired it without studying the numbers. Maybe Muslims don't like math.

However, the science of Algebra created by al-Khwarizmi, which was cultivated via the toilet, was finally studied by Westerners, and they were able to make Cellphone, Facebook, YouTube, Google, Wikipedia, and Uncyclopedia. However, Muslims nowadays often ignore Algebra because they think that worldly knowledge is not important, and that religious knowledge is much more important to learn. Of course, that's just a cliche excuse made up, in fact they just can't stand it and will vomit if they see too many numbers. Therefore, instead of studying Algebra, they chose to join ISIS. Allah's True Prophet Muhammad was very disappointed to see these ignorant Muslims.

Early life

Al-Khwarizmi was born in Khwarazm in the era of The Great Golden Baghdad Abbasid Empire at 780's, of course he wasn't born in Baghdad, he was born in a village called Khwarazm (didn't I say that at the start of the sentence?). Because Arabs like to name their children after the place where they were born, al-Khwarizmi was named after the city of his birth. The format is not too difficult, you only need to change the ending of the word to the letter i and then add al- in front of the name. Honestly, this is simpler than of for the Britishiyyin or van for the Nederlander-Deutchiyyin or von for the Germani-Naziyyin or D' for the French-Napoleoniyyin. Indonesians sometimes copy this concept too and name their ulama with various al-, for example Aldebaran.

Career

“$x$ can be whatever i want!”

~ al-Khwarizmi

Al-Khwarizmi really likes numbers. Every day he goes to the cake shop just to look at the numbers, namely to see how much the layer cake and Fried Rice costs in the shop. Al-Khwarizmi also likes to eat Indomie. According to him, Indomie can help him measure how dangerous Indonesian culture is for the United States.

Al-Khwarizmi started spending his time cultivating in the toilet because the dentist said he had COVID-19. As he began cultivating and concentrating Qi into his dantian, he realized that he had attained enlightenment. Because of that, he immediately got out of the toilet and washed his buttocks with water. Of course, Muslims washed their buttocks with water, and passed this habit on to the people of the East. In contrast to Western people who wipe their buttocks full of feces using a tissue. Now try to imagine if you had diarrhea and what came out of your buttocks was sticky, brownish yellow liquid feces. Imagine how colorful your tissue will be and how it will smell! That's why Muslims are smarter than Westerners. Unfortunately, their intelligence is mostly just bragged about, and not studied.

After leaving cultivation, al-Kwarizmi immediately wrote many books about numbers and mathematics. Apparently, his book was very interesting to the Emperor at that time, al-Rashid. Emperor al-Rashid then appointed him to teach at the House of Wisdom. Because his skill in teaching made his students' heads explode, he then realized that he couldn't let his students be spoiled. So, as an exercise for his tormented students, he created Alcamel Algebra. Algebra was created from all his thoughts while cultivating in the toilet. Who would have thought, it was these unclear numbers that made al-Khwarizmi very famous at that time.

“${\frac {p-q}{2}}={\sqrt {\left({\frac {p+q}{2}}\right)^{2}-pq}}={\sqrt {2550{\tfrac {1}{4}}-100}}=49{\tfrac {1}{2}}$”

~ Alcamel Agebra book

“What is this?”

~ Abbasid Emperor al-Rashid

“I called it Alcamel Algebra”

~ al-Khwarizmi

“So, its a camel right?”

~ Abbasid Emperor

“True, but wrong!”

~ A camel on the palace ceiling

Death

al-Khwarizmi died because he accidentally forgot to write $x$ as a variable and instead wrote χ, even though χ is related to phonetics, not mathematics. That's why he was so frustrated that he finally died.

“Nooooo!!! My beloved $x$!!!!”

~ al-Khwarizmi 2 days before he died

See also

• Saudi Arabia, where this man came from.