5G
| It is requested that an image or images be included in this article to improve its quality. | |||
5G (5 Bottles of G-Fuel) is a technology used by Gamers™ to consume 2-5 bottles of G-Fuel at the same time. It is heavily discouraged by doctors and dieticians due to the side effects of excessive consumption of G-Fuel (Severe resistance to do physical activities, fetishization of women,[1] sleep patterns getting fucked, and sometimes getting into deep existential crisis), as well as the low nutritional value and the high amount of caffeine in G-Fuel. 5G is forbidden in e-sports tournaments due to players who use it having advantage over players who don't use it.[2]
Technology[edit | edit source]
5G is something like a cup holder. There are 5 slots where you can put the G-Fuel bottles, and there are tubes that you can connect to the G-Fuel. There's also a giant tube that connects all the small tubes. You can either drink or pour from the tube (Either to the outside or into the bottles). Gamer food factories use a modified version of this, with more slots for the bottles and wider tubes.
Controversy[edit | edit source]
E-sports[edit | edit source]
“Why do people need G-Fuel?”
G-Fuel is a common gamer drink due to the boost in one's energy and dopamine[3] after consumption, which also causes a performance boost in gaming.[4] 5G caused a something something inequality between players something in e-sports competitions, so it got banned. The ban infuriated the Gamers™, and they ended up vandalizing e-sports tournament locations.
Theories[edit | edit source]
“That's why nobody uses Facebook.”
Like every single thing that exists, 5G also has theories about it. A theory suggests that 5G spreads Amogus. Oddly, this theory is originated from Reddit. The 5G Neckbeard Theory suggests that the 5G technology is basically a blood pump for neckbeards, and when 5G is destroyed, they will go extinct.[citation needed] According to some Facebook moms, 5G can also cause Autism, Coronavirus, and digestive system problems.
There's also another theory that suggested that 5G can kill you if you use it too much, and surprisingly, it has been proven by scientists (See also: Deaths.).
Deaths[edit | edit source]
There have been cases of death from 5G before the "5G can kill you" theory was confirmed. Here are 2 of them, because I'm bored:
- A Minecraft YouTuber consumed 69[5] bottles of G-Fuel using the technology and was found dead after trying to speedrun Minecraft.[6] It is currently thought that he died due to exhaustion, but some scientists deny this since "Gamers™ are a different species that can survive without sleep".
- 3 members of an e-sports team died from food poisoning after lunch. Food experts have examined the lunch meal and found 5 galleons of G-Fuel put in it. They concluded 5G was used to put the G-Fuel in the meal, since a classic Gamer™ would be either too lazy or busy to put that much G-Fuel by themselves.
- ↑ In some Gamers™, this side effect get more severe to the point that it turns them into simps.
- ↑ The hosts ruin everything smh -Angry gamer
- ↑ Source: I made it up
- ↑ Some scientists gave some rats G-Fuel, and they became able to play video games
and scream slurs in the voice chat. The conductors of the experiment think that gamers, people who already know how to play video games, will instead get better at gaming after drinking the beverage. - ↑ Nice - A Redditor
- ↑
Sweet Dreams are made of these