UnNews:An open letter to electors

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UnNews:An open letter to electors

Monday, December 19, 2016

Dear electors:

Tomorrow -- Monday, December 19, 2016 -- electors from across the country will meet in their respective state capitols to officially cast their votes for the 45th President of the United States. Republican Donald Trump, who collected 306 electoral votes in a surprising upset in the November 8th general election, is expected to retain his victory over Democratic challenger (and the real winner!) Hillary Clinton, who beat him in the popular vote by at least 2.8 million.

Contrary to popular belief, the people do not choose the president, it's merely a popularity contest; we the people do, however, choose the electors... who, in the Electoral College, will then choose our next president, for better or worse. The Electoral College was designed to prevent unqualified persons from assuming the office of President. As Alexander Hamilton put it in Federalist No. 68 (published March 12, 1788):

Trump fails this test. There are several reasons for Trump-pledged electors to defect and give their votes to Hillary or another, alternative, candidate. Many of which you may already know by now, as noted above, but I'll also mention a recent revelation that may unravel the President-Elect's victory.

Hamilton also wrote about:

As you may now by now, Russia and its President, Vladimir Putin, hacked voting machines and interfered with the election, likely (Hell, not just "likely," they did!) affecting the outcome in Trump's favor. This is treason. This alone disqualifies Trump from the office of president. Or as he would put it, this makes him #unpresidented (sic). There hasn't been an election-related scandal like this since the 1972 election and Watergate, which brought Richard Nixon to his knees. (Although the 2000 election had its "hanging chad" controversy, and at least one of the George W. Bush elections was rigged, according to Robert F. Kennedy Jr. in a Rolling Stone article.)

If this Red Scare weren't alarming enough, Trump has proven to be a liar, a bully, a racist, a misogynist, homophobic, xenophobic, a con artist, a tax evader, cheap, an employee-stiffer, a thief, and a sexual assaulter. (Not only does he admit to this, he even boasts about it!) He encourages violence, he throws temper tantrums (especially on Twitter and especially about SNL). He has called women every name in the book. He thinks climate change is a hoax! He can't take criticism; hell, he's probably reading this now thinking "Wrong! So unfair! I'm gonna build a YUGE wall around Uncyclopedia and UnNews! Believe me!"

Do you really want this man to be your next precedent (sic)? It's unpresidented (sic) that such a dangerous man has rosen to power in America, and believe me, there will be YUGE consequences if you gentlemen elect this man as our next president.

On the other hand, Hillary Clinton is quite qualified for this nation's highest office. She has been a First Lady, a senator, and a Secretary of State. How is she not qualified to run our country? Also, she has no direct (nor alarming) ties to a foreign power such as Russia/Putin. She hasn't used money from her foundation to cover her thousands of bankruptcies and lawsuits; that's Trump. She also doesn't have a fraud university; that, also, was Trump.

Hillary wants to raise the minimum wage to $15, give women equal pay, force all those rich assholes to pay their fair share in taxes, strengthen the working/middle class, and make the world safer for women, minorities, and the LGBT community. She's also the only candidate still in the race who has Bernie Sanders's full support... and the only one who ever did besides Bernie himself, who conceded in July.

Vote wisely.


UnNews writer