Rage Against the Machine

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Terrorist leader Zack de la Rocha has been described as a man in the league with such anarchists as Malcom X and Osama Bin Laden

Rage Against the Machine, also known as The Machine Rages On, are an anti-family terrorist organisation formed in the Los Angeles underground with the intent purpose to bring down to united states government and all great things it stands for.

History[edit | edit source]

The group started with a mere four members, Zack de la Rocha (president and main anarchist), Tom Morello (who has been accused of using an axe as a deadly weapon), Tim Commodore or something (He thinks ISIS beheading videos and the moon landing are fake), and some other guy no one cares about. In time, through vile communist propaganda and brainwashing, the cult had recruited thousands of naive youths throughout the entire globe. The group claimed that through screaming "really, really, loud" and turning their amplifiers to 11 whilst jumping on their instruments they could overthrough the democratic american goverment and put in place a communist dictatorship.

Rage, as they are known by all the cool kids, hold large gatherings with their followers from which to spout their antidisestablishmentarianism propaganda. These (often violent) occasions are collectively referred to as 'GIGS', an abbreviation whose etymology was unknown to all but a single Vietnamese monk who unfortunately set himself alight while refilling his Volvo, when he dropped the fattie he was smoking. Fortunately, Zack was with him at the time and whipped out his phone quickly enough to get a really good shot of the scene for Facebook. The monk requested that Zack put out the flames instead, but the dreadlocked anarchist explained repeatedly that in no way would he do what was asked of him, in an expletive-laden outburst, and left the poor monk to die. His death was of course blamed on the system, man.

Invention of Communism[edit | edit source]

Whilst promoting their iconic first album self-titled, Zack came up with the idea of communism. With said invention, he created many other fictional characters and locations, such as Joseph Stalin, Karl Marx and Vladimir Lenin. Tom came up with the idea of the hammer and sickle so he could put it on his iconic Arm the Homerless guitar. Using their wealth and fame, the members of Rage Against the Machine began to gaslight the world into believing this ideology had been around for centuries, and used this promote even more of their music and inspire others to become communists.

Vaccine incident[edit | edit source]

During a reunion in 2021, everyone had to take the infamous COVID-19 vaccine to enter their iconic concerts. This outraged billions, as people realized their music was political. To recognize this, they renamed themselves Rage for the Machine, and started telling everyone to vote for Joe Biden. Tom transitioned into a girl, Zack revealed he was a homosexual, and those other guys did something liberal. Afterwards, they revealed the truth about communism, most of the members hide in shame. Tom occasionally posts on Twitter about unionizing or something.

See also[edit | edit source]