“SÜCK IT GOTT!”
The theater, yes, a plain old boring movie could be SO MUCH MORE than just the average everyday source of entertainment. Music is unique, having association with masturbation, sex, love, dance, and the ability to make hot chicks flash their breasts. The influence of the almighty music has even made its way into popular TV shows, such as the HBO series The Sopranos, which is actually one huge tribute to the song "Trash" by Suede. Music has inspired the famous form of plays, the musicals.
Sports are cool too, having world championships and all. Being the visual faces of EACH and EVERY ONE of the Third World countries. This TOTALLY beats out theater. Do YOU see theater determining the national color of The Netherlands (orange)? NO! Theater coexisted alongside the other much more hip and widely accepted hobbies for years, and even centuries with absolutely no respect for them, whatsoever. Movies were a mockery. (Hence the Uncyclopedia Michael Bay article) It was hopeless, movies would NEVER be cool.
Then everything changed when the metal nation attacked.
A new breed of entertainment form was formulated, the dream theater. This new theater was indeed, cool. Cooler than all other entertainments within the funtime world of all hobbies and fads. What is this heathen of an art thinking? How could this happen? What a joke! Theater being cool and the new hot topic? Well here's your answer in spades. This theater was no ordinary theater... this theater went without flaw. The beauty, the sound...
Don't get me STARTED on the soundtrack. You wouldn't have heard the sound until you have actually delved into the sensation. The way all the notes were always the right ones... just the right degree of perfection. It was near to literally impossible to even begin to imagine or possibly even start to comprehend such magnificent songs. You couldn't even guess how much of a beautiful listening this degree of perfection was. OOH! The glamour!
It was a disaster for the other entertainments. Even all the other fine arts, such as the painting even awed upon the sound of this spectacular perfection in shape and form. The SPORTS even ended up going through this catastrophic uproar, with the loss of the last few WNBA fans. It was even so god-like that the psycho who was so far in wanking to the ass of the statue of David even stopped beating off to get a glimpse at this angel. The beauty within the theater was one that even converted ISIS into worshiping the metal gods.
Finally, theater had a positive reputation. No longer was theater for nerds. Not with the new, the beauty, the incomparable, the almighty, the cool, and the flawless Dream Theater.