Mr. Beast

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Born: Dinny Jomaldsyn "Mr. Beast" Croptomer 42nd, 312.83, East Carolina, East Carolina East Carolina, Western Eastern Carolina Education: Brain in Bahrain

Dinny Jomaldsyn (also known as Monster Beats, or Mr. Beast for short)[1] is a serial killer and leader of the Group of Hooligans from East Carolina who is most famous for his YouTube videos (such as: "I Blinded 1000 People!" and "I Ate $1 vs $1,000,000,000 Human Hearts!") which depict his committing violent felonies.[2] He is also famous for his tweets[3] where he says controversial stuff (such as: "KKK good, hotdog bad") which somehow still get thousands of likes. He has more recently founded his own religion of Hooliganism where everyone has to please the "algorithm" or else they get sacrificed.[4] He is currently facing 1 day in prison for committing a misdemeanor.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Mr. Beast.

Early life[edit | edit source]

Mr. Beast grew up with an abusive uncle who frequently chewed glass and broke chewing tobacco. This gave Mr. Beast 56 aneurysms, giving him a mental illness. This affected his school life, too, bringing down his grade from an F to a terrible A+! Because of this, his teacher grew Dinny's beard for him by growing a beard himself and then gluing each individual beard hair onto Dinny's face. Dinny used this newfound beard to disintegrate food and to create Mr. Beast Burger restaurants and Feastable bards.[5] He then skipped 23 years of his life using a bug[6] that he found in the simulation.

YouTube career[edit | edit source]

Mr. Beast is very well known for his many YouTube videos depicting violent and cruel acts. The most famous of these videos include:

  • Last Person To Leave The Circle Doesn't Die!
  • I Blinded 1000 People!
  • Ages 1–100 Fight To The Death!
  • I Ate $1 vs $1,000,000,000 Human Hearts!
  • I Spent 50 Hours Without Killing Anyone!
  • I Hunted Down A Whole School Of Children!
  • $1 vs $100,000,000 School Shooter!

Dinny started his YouTube career before the YouTube feature was even added to the simulation (he knows an admin), where by posting short videos of him playing Minecraft and brutally slaughtering every animal he saw.[7] Later, he decided to change the direction of his channel, and he started giving away free money to strangers as an act of kindness, but then he would brutally murder them in an alleyway that he found in Peru.

These types of videos soon gained traction and his YouTube channel grew two subscribers! As a thanks, he decided to do a prank where he undressed in front of the White House so everybody could see. He was later arrested, but before police officers could charge him with public indecency, he repented for all of his transgressions and immediately started begging for forgiveness. When they didn't forgive him, he stabbed them. He then posted the whole thing to his YouTube channel uncensored, and YouTube decided to take it down and put it back up on YouTube Kids because they thought it was a kid's show. Mr. Beast gained a hundred million subscribers (mostly kids) because of that one video.

Mesor Beast!!!!11!!1!!!!1!![edit | edit source]

Mesor Beast is an extremely close relative, almost to the point of being the same person. Mesor Beast once said "Up yours!" I've been paid to not speak more on the matter.

Spinoffs[edit | edit source]

Naturally following Mr. beast's success and massive network, many others have tried to copy him, making many similar videos including:

  • I HUNTED EVERY HUMPBACK WHALE ON PLANET EARTH 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
  • I BOUGHT EVERY ARTICLE OF FOOD IN NIGERIA (COPS CALLED) (SHOCKING)😲
  • I PAID 10$ VS 100$ TO HUNT INNOCENT PEDESTRIANS

Mr. Beast would have to respond to these knockoffs if he wanted to keep his career. He made similar videos to these in response. It's rather ironic, since these people dug their own graves.[8] These videos include:

  • I HUNTED EVERY BLUE WHALE ON THE PLANET 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲
  • WHOEVER MAKES THE BEST NUCLEAR WEAPON WINS 10,000,000,000,000$😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲(COPS CALLED)😲😲
  • I CRASHED PHOBOS INTO MARS! 😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲😲

Other ventures[edit | edit source]

Feastables[edit | edit source]

After Mr. Beast officially discontinued his Feastable bards, he decided to make chocolate bars which coincidentally have the same Feastables name. These chocolate bars are made from pig feces, uranium, and Owen Wilson, giving them the name of Feastables. After these chocolate bars became a success, Mr. Beast decided to open a store just to sell these chocolate bars. He called it Walmart, and it ended up being a commercial flop. Because of this, he decided to cry his soul out of his eyes, which the Devil then stole in order to pay off gambling debts.[9]

Finger on the app[edit | edit source]

This doesn't exist! You are crazy! Wake up! You are crazy! WAKE UP! WAKE U-

See also[edit | edit source]

Notes[edit | edit source]

  1. ↑ But you're shorter.
  2. ↑ He has never been caught, because he ate all the police officers.
  3. ↑ How dare you! It is now known as "X-ing"!
  4. ↑ I think this might be the cult that you have to appease! Crazy!
  5. ↑ These are not the well known "Feastable bars". It's a bard, which is different.
  6. ↑ This bug has since been patched.
  7. ↑ He was later diagnosed with schizophrenia .
  8. ↑ He murdered every last one of the people who copied him.
  9. ↑ The Devil owed $500,000,000 souls to God. (God owned the casino.) This is why the Devil always buys peoples' souls.
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