From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search

You could be looking for Hell and not even know it!

Minnesota, deep in the heart of the ravaged arctic wasteland known as the American Midwest, is the one of the coldest places on earth, next to Russia and Antartica. Like most places in the Cursed Midwest, it has four seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Road Construction (the lowest temperature ever recorded was at a comfy -155 Celsius)


In 1770something, an unnamed explorer went mysteriously missing into an uncharted region of the New World. Soon after, the British government sent an expedition to find the unnamed explorer. After that, it basically went like John Pinette's description of hiking. Not long after, during the War of 1812, some Canadian troops (Canada counts as the arctic) stumbled into the strange land, noticing it was a bit warmer than what they were used to. Thus the Arctic Empire was formed, only to be eaten by the United States and turned into the shithole it is today, Minnesota.


The only culture here in MN is the deep hatred between the Twin Cities, St. Paul and Minneapolis, and Communism, because it is scientifically proven that when people are put in cold places they invent communism. Much unlike when people are surrounded by minorities who bully them, that makes Fascism.


Communist, because the place is really, really cold by most human standards.


With complete honesty this time, I just realized that we have a total of 2 national monuments, and one of them is a lighthouse that killed people or something like that. The other is called Fort Sumter or something like that.

Culture 2[edit]

We also have arguably the worst football team in NFL history, which also takes away a lot of our "culture". We also have this guy who makes medieval armor and a big state fair, but who the fuck cares about nerds with armor and usually we're already too snowed in to get to the state fair.


Since when did communists have religion?


We have our glorious capital, home to our glorious leader Tsar Dayton the Glorious, who makes only the most glorious decisions. All who disagree are executed. Also Minneapolis is where all the hippies hang out, and where Tsar Dayton has deployed death squads ordered to shoot on sight any protestors / people with wacky hairdos and peace symbols on their everything

See Also[edit]