|Lousiana: The Bayou State
as in, "lemme bayou a drink."
|State Flower:||Lilly pad|
|Official Language:||Prawnsays, Prenchy Germish, Angles, Cager|
|State Bird:||Oily Skin|
|State Motto:||Parley boo prawnsay!|
|State Rock||Tar balls|
|State Beverage||bathtub gin|
|Demographics||Prenchy, Prench Pried Germans & Back Water Folk|
|State Club||Swingers and Perves|
|Principal exports||Poor Black refugees|
Louisiana is a relatively small state in the Southern US notable for it's achievments in seafood, drinking, off shore drilling, voodoo, fireworks, Jazz music, violent crime, and roving bands of illegitmate children. The capital is Baton Rouge, and the largest city is New Orleans, which is surrounded by the Gulf of Mexico to the southeast and swampy marshland and dark forests to the northwest that are viciously guarded by Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau.
Louis I. Ana, foreman of the three year job to build Louisiana with Louis and Anna, drunkenly signed his name into the shoreline (sans-spaces) in the year AD 900. 628 years later, Pánfilo de Narváez set foot in Louisiana to discover the rum-induced signature.
In third grade classrooms across the country, Louisiana is commonly referred to as the one that's shaped like an elbow and isn't Florida. Alternatively, it is the boot that isn't Italy. Regardless, in the Deep South, it's about as deep as it gets.
Food and Culture
“What is she doing in there? Ah no, she just yelled, 'Get back in that pot!' Why does it smell like a burning tire? I hope it's not what we had last night. There's something wrong with crawfish staring at it you while you tear it in half. It tasted like a flaming oil tanker. And here she comes... Oh god, they don't expect me to eat that, do they? There's a tentacle in there. Please don't give me the tentacle, please don't give me the tentacle, please don't give me the tentacle... fantastic. A tentacle. And a... I have no idea what that is. Why is she smiling at me? Oh god, I'm going to have to take a bite. Okay, just smile and choke it down. Spoon in... and I get the tentacle. Here it goes, *gugh-ugh, gahh!* Hmm... not bad. Not bad at all. Actually this may be the most delicious thing I have ever had in my life!"”
Louisianananans have a patent for a highly toxic variety of tea, they call 'SWEAAAT-T' which will render the drinker Diabetic from the first mouthful. Its ingredients are highly top secret, but they are believed to be Tea. It is customary to mix SWEAAAT-T with burbon to hush your baby, Britney Spears, a Louisiananana native sure knows.
Louisiana State University Tigarrhea
"No joke, the Louisiana State University Fighting Tigers football team may be the last good reason to rock US. They're like the 1972 Miami Dolphins, only better because they're not old, unlike the USC trojans who are a disgrace and over-rated."
~ Person suffering from Tigarrhea
LSU Tigarrhea is a disease that plagues more than 90% of Louisiana's population common symptoms include thinking that the Tigers are "the goodest thing bout louisiana", buying useless LSU shirts or other merchandise especially if you didn't attend LSU or attended a rival school, and saying things like "geaux Tigers". If you know someone who exhibits these symptoms please alert them to their idiotic behavior immediately.
LSU Tigarrhea strikes the lower class and shall we say not so smart of the state, basically 95% of the state. LSU has an awesome program, their graduates move on to Wal-Mart, Dominos Pizza (delivery boys) and gas stations everywhere. They’re not hard to spot; they’ll have a very stupid looking geaux Tigers shirt on with maybe two teeth. They always have a good excuse as to why the LSU Football team lost, Again… Things like, they were paid off, The Coach was getting death threats, The quarter back had to diarrhea, Aliens came down and played the game not the Tigers and no one told us we were playing tonight. LSU fans are also the most hated humans on earth, even the Taliban has more friends than the LSU fans.