Forum:Why don't admins just
... suck my dick? --Anonymous Vandal
...pick features from the queue? They could take turns, for instance weekly or so. People could just submit stuff for featuring, and that's it. What's this democracy nonsense? -- Style 
Guide 17:21, May 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Because, that wouldn't really work. Without trying to sound like a conspiracy theorist, I love the admins to death but they might be biased towards people/certain articles. True, people who vote are biased too. But that has less of an effect, really, as there are more that aren't. Also, remember the fact that humor is subjective, and what one admin likes may be way different from what 20 other people like. If we used that system, we could have features only one person would like, and people would complain, and that would create more drama then voting does.-- On Sunday, 05:53, May 23 2010 UTC
- HELPME, as always, is wrong. But so is Multiliteralist. What we can do is let me pick the features. I'll be fair, I really will. Poop throwing monkeys and People Who Like to Fuck Naked will only be featured once a year or so, I promise. And even though I won't feature encylopedic-type articles, we need a break from those and really need more first-person pages. Anyway, this solves everything. Put your feature suggestions on some talk page somewhere and I'll get around to them eventually. Put shiny graphics and funny code combinations on your page, and I'll move you up in the que. And don't be afraid to suggest older pages to me, some of the best ones haven't been featured yet. I'll take care of it. Al des chains 18:02 23 5 MMX
- Bollocks, HELPME. There are many admins, and most of them like different types of humour. Nobody would have to vote, whore or do shit except write articles. Admins would have the same amount of work they have now... oh sorry, they would need to read the articles. But they read them anyway. Don't they? DON'T THEY? Al - I have nothing against you picking the articles either. -- Style
Guide 18:07, May 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks Multi, give me your list of your five favorites and I'll feature them for five days in a row, right at the start. Al des chains 16:10 23 5 MMX
- There you see people - democracy is utterly worthless! This system works far better! -- Style Guide 18:12, May 23, 2010 (UTC)
- If the admins all have to decide, that's Democracy between admins.
- Lol.-- On Sunday, 06:56, May 23 2010 UTC
- And if they don't, see my problems above. There are way more users then there are admins, so there are way more different opinions. Also, there's nothing really wrong with VFH right now. I haven't seen any VFH drama in a while. (Top 10 drama notwithstanding)-- On Sunday, 06:58, May 23 2010 UTC
- Nah - they don't need to decide together. One of them, taking turns. Besides, I didn't bring this up expecting anything would happen. Also, I didn't mean that the system where admins choose would be good, but rather the one where Al chooses and I submit. Everyone else could go home then, and the system would still work. Handy. -- Style Guide 19:19, May 23, 2010 (UTC)
- It won't work because I, like Aleister in Chains, will only feature my own pages. This is because admins are power mad douches, writers are ego-centric douches and admins tend to be writers. Except me. I'm awesome. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:11, May 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Not true, liar liar, look down, your pants seem to be aflame. When I get this power one of the first pages I would feature would be something by Modus yourself. I've been waiting to vote for your 40th feature article, to see someone break that barrier. It's like landing a man on Mars, or a woman on Venus. It will be a night of fireworks at Uncy. So nom something, or write your classic, the barrier must fall! Oh, and then the second day I'd put my stuff on there, and maybe after a week feature this again, then go back to my stuff. Al des chains 23:52 23 5 MMX
- You can suck up to me all you want, but you're still not getting any of my pudding. Oh, and I have one more feature than the Hall o' Shame shows. I, myself, was featured. It was an honour so high, that only I could give it to me. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:57, May 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Not true, liar liar, look down, your pants seem to be aflame. When I get this power one of the first pages I would feature would be something by Modus yourself. I've been waiting to vote for your 40th feature article, to see someone break that barrier. It's like landing a man on Mars, or a woman on Venus. It will be a night of fireworks at Uncy. So nom something, or write your classic, the barrier must fall! Oh, and then the second day I'd put my stuff on there, and maybe after a week feature this again, then go back to my stuff. Al des chains 23:52 23 5 MMX
- It won't work because I, like Aleister in Chains, will only feature my own pages. This is because admins are power mad douches, writers are ego-centric douches and admins tend to be writers. Except me. I'm awesome. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:11, May 23, 2010 (UTC)
- Nah - they don't need to decide together. One of them, taking turns. Besides, I didn't bring this up expecting anything would happen. Also, I didn't mean that the system where admins choose would be good, but rather the one where Al chooses and I submit. Everyone else could go home then, and the system would still work. Handy. -- Style
- And if they don't, see my problems above. There are way more users then there are admins, so there are way more different opinions. Also, there's nothing really wrong with VFH right now. I haven't seen any VFH drama in a while. (Top 10 drama notwithstanding)-- On Sunday, 06:58, May 23 2010 UTC
- There you see people - democracy is utterly worthless! This system works far better! -- Style
- Thanks Multi, give me your list of your five favorites and I'll feature them for five days in a row, right at the start. Al des chains 16:10 23 5 MMX
- Bollocks, HELPME. There are many admins, and most of them like different types of humour. Nobody would have to vote, whore or do shit except write articles. Admins would have the same amount of work they have now... oh sorry, they would need to read the articles. But they read them anyway. Don't they? DON'T THEY? Al - I have nothing against you picking the articles either. -- Style
- HELPME, as always, is wrong. But so is Multiliteralist. What we can do is let me pick the features. I'll be fair, I really will. Poop throwing monkeys and People Who Like to Fuck Naked will only be featured once a year or so, I promise. And even though I won't feature encylopedic-type articles, we need a break from those and really need more first-person pages. Anyway, this solves everything. Put your feature suggestions on some talk page somewhere and I'll get around to them eventually. Put shiny graphics and funny code combinations on your page, and I'll move you up in the que. And don't be afraid to suggest older pages to me, some of the best ones haven't been featured yet. I'll take care of it. Al des chains 18:02 23 5 MMX
FUCK UR VAGINA-LACED PENISES WITH COCK-SYRUP LIKE THE FUCKING IMPERIALIST DOG-SWINE U ARE - WHILE U ARE AT IT WHY DON'T U STUFF U R POPTART SMELLING NATION INTO A PIZZA AND EAT IT SO THE REST OF THE WORLD CAN BE SPARED THE SHITTY SHIT THAT SPEWS OUT U R SHIT HOLES! – Preceding unsigned comment added by 92.2.122.80 (talk • contribs)
- Did you write that Modus? Let's feature it. 40th. Al des chains 00:13 24 5 mmx
8;that wasn't me. my caps key is broken. it makes wiki formatting, um, problematic. [[,span class='nounderlinelink' style='color;3ff3399'.,small.order-of-uncyclopedia3knight-or-dame-grand-cross-.28gun.29\sir,/small. user;modusoperandi\modusoperandi ,small.,sup.user:modusoperandi/boinc\boinc1,/sup.,/small.,/span.]] 00;25, may 23, 2010 9utc0
- 8. lol. Al sans chains 00:34 24 5 MMX
So it's decided then?
Aleister in Chains will be picking features from now on, because Modus said the admins are biased. This is the new Uncyclopedia policy now, right? -- Style Guide 05:49, May 24, 2010 (UTC)
- THIS IS NOW OFFICIAL POLICY! —Sir Socky
(talk) (stalk)
GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 05:53, 24 May 2010
- I didn't say they were biased. I said they were power mad douches. Sheesh! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 06:22, May 24, 2010 (UTC)
- I read it "biased" because you are known to exaggerate things. Anyway, the main thing is that the policy now irrevocably stands. -- Style Guide 08:17, May 24, 2010 (UTC)
- As it should be. Tonight feature that ALL CAPS thing a few spots up that Modus wrote. 40th. Then Poop throwing monkeys, and after that we'll go for the five days of Multiliteralist's best. From then on we'll play it by ear and Random page. Al des chains 11:03 24 5 MMX
- No, don't feature my "best", they are embarrassing - they have gay things and stuff. Well, depends on what you mean by "best". Random page is good! -- Style Guide 12:19, May 24, 2010 (UTC)
- Multi...do you have a job or are you at school still? What happened to your other idea regards writing articles. What happened to the Leonardo da Vinci story we worked on??--
RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 07:12, May 25, 2010 (UTC) - What ever happened to predictability? The milk man, the paper boy, evening TV? Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 07:25, May 25, 2010 (UTC)
- Multi...do you have a job or are you at school still? What happened to your other idea regards writing articles. What happened to the Leonardo da Vinci story we worked on??--
- No, don't feature my "best", they are embarrassing - they have gay things and stuff. Well, depends on what you mean by "best". Random page is good! -- Style
- As it should be. Tonight feature that ALL CAPS thing a few spots up that Modus wrote. 40th. Then Poop throwing monkeys, and after that we'll go for the five days of Multiliteralist's best. From then on we'll play it by ear and Random page. Al des chains 11:03 24 5 MMX
- I read it "biased" because you are known to exaggerate things. Anyway, the main thing is that the policy now irrevocably stands. -- Style
None of the four articles
I wroted ever evens got nominated so the whole system (new or old) can go suck elephant bollocaks are far as I'm concerned:
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Also, other cool stuff never gets mentions either... ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!* 
(talk) (stalk) Π ~ 
~ 28 May 2010 ~ 07:10 (UTC)
This forum topic
Made my miserable day. Thank you Mr. Anonymous Vandal for providing a bit of light relief on an otherwise deadly serious evening. -- Hindleyite Converse • ?pedia 20:18, June 2, 2010 (UTC)