Wonky

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for O.J. Simpson?

The hobo who allegedly has nothing to do with starting the wonky sensation whatsoever but actually does not really kinda jk lolz rotfl lmao LMAFO! XD XD!!!!!!!!!

Wonky/Wonkology or as the Spanish would say El Wonky, was was actually born on MythBusters when the narrator said "This one looks a little wonky". Now it has become one of the more sensational words in approximately one town.

History

It first started in MythBusters as mentioned above. The narrator was likely high or drunk when he said it, which would lead one to believe that only drunks use that word. While that might be true, it can also be used when your sober, also known as never. It was made popular by a dude on a street corner yelling at someone for change,"I'll take whatever you got, no matter how wonky it is!" The word then spread like wildfire and quickly became a hit among certain people, mostly people who don't want to curse in front of their boss, and drunks. It has no relation whatsoever to Willy Wonka of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It was almost never spread because of flying monkeys attacking the Mythbuster crew. The homeless dude discovered this word by standing around at a Wal-Mart showing Mythbusters. It is now used commonly as a verb, noun, and adjective.

Word Usage

The original definition of wonky was "something odd or out of shape." Now a days wonky is mostly used with a positive connotation in most cases. It can be used as an adjective ( This is so wonky, I never knew what happens when heroin and cocaine are mixed!), noun (Everyone do The Wonky... or die!) or (Un-wonken-believable bi-otch!!! ), and verb (Do you know how to Wonk? Because if you don't I will hate you forever!!) Really though, it is up to the speaker to do whatever they want with the word because they are most likely on crack anyways. If your super angry at someone and are lacking the coordination of a 2 year old you could tell someone to "Wonk off freaky freak-o freakster!" or say "Wonk you Bill Gates!"

Dances

Almost wonky, needs more slapping

Wonky has many dances, the first of which was just called The Wonky. It involved slapping your face, then shimmying down really fast. The next was The Through-the-Legs Wonky. It was the same thing except you stuck your arm around your leg and repeated. There have been many other versions of The Wonky such as The MoonWonk, The Electric Wonky, and The Evolution of The Wonk. (really just some guy falling to the ground and having a seizure) Also, if you do the wonky with a partner you should both just dance however you want while slapping each other at random moments. If you hate the person your dancing with, or they are drunk, just slap them really hard for a K.O. If they don't get knocked out, run.

Songs

Many popular songs have parodied with wonky as the subject such as This Why I'm Wonky, Wonkalicious, Wonk It Out, We Wonk High, and Wonk Along. These songs are in an annoying high or low pitched voice. The audiences will sometimes clap to the beat of the song if they are either felling stupid, or have had a couple to keep the wonky funk alive. Most of the time people just throw stuff at the Wonky Dancer but they don't care because they are wonky fresh or 6.45653% of the time there drunk so the dancer may pass out on the stage. The people however, normally get really mad and start to throw bricks, rocks, or glass bottles.

Wonkites

Wonkites are usually people that do The Wonky or use the phrase wonky... Wonkites may only be human and have a basic understanding of the word wonky. Wonkite dancers should also know at least two of the wonky dances, or be drunk. If YOU want to become a Wonkite follow these simple steps.

Method 1

1. Find the most annoying upbeat song you can. (Preferably in Swedish)

2. Find a stereo that runs on a hamster, or if you ate the hamster(sicko), batteries.

4. Stand on a street corner and start dancing while slapping yourself.

5. Continue for 5 minutes and hope no one has thrown anything at you yet.

6. You are now a Wonkite!

Method 2

1. Slap yourself as hard as you can while listening to the Spice Girls for 2 minutes.

2. Call a doctor and hope you didn't break anything.

Wonker

An example of the first wonker

Wonkers are non-living objects that are either are described as wonky or attended a "Wonky Party." (see below) The first wonker was a chick peep that the dude on the street corner stole from a random store. If you have an object you want to make a wonker describe as wonky in a conversation, and if the person you are talking to doesn't question what the heck you're talking about, then that item is now a wonker. Another way to make something a wonker it to throw it at someone doing the wonky. However, if that person dies, then said object must be cremated ASAP. But good luck moron you just killed a guy! Eh, oh well just take his wallet.

Wonky Party

A wonky party is a gathering for normal people and Wonkites alike. In order to form such a party to be wonky you need the following things:

#1. 1 Wonkite for every 10 people

#2. Lots of energy drinks and coffee

#3. 20 cups of pudding

#4. Spice Girl's music

#5. A picture of Bob Saget

Now then, lets get started. Put the picture of Bob Saget in the middle of the room the party will take place in. Lay out the cups of pudding in a circle around the picture. Lay out all the coffee or energy drinks you can find in a square around the circle. Invite over all the Wonkites 10 mintues before the party starts, and have then consume all the energy drinks and coffee. Once everyone arrives the Wonkites will know what to do, and everyone should just GO WONKY!