Wes Borland
 |
Minitrue mark article doubleplusungood crimethink. Miniluv remake goodthink fullwise. |
| Wes Borland | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Lifespan | 1975-4002 |
| Occupations | Guitarist, Cop Killah, Puppet Masta' |
| Birthplace | KoRn Fields, California |
| Conquered Lands | United Spades Of Amerika, Indiana, Darkness |
History[edit | edit source]
Wes is one of the few surviving Children Of The KoRn, as he was born not only, in KoRn fields, but was made from when two members of KoRn had you-know-what. He then moved to Jacksonville, where he met childhood hero Michael Jackson. Since Korn lost their popularity, his parents went bankrupt and somehow he ended up on the tough streets of Compton. When he was 15, he was on Oprah's show, which awakened the evil inside him. He became a wanted criminal, the best out there was, as he had the powah to kill cops in 2 seconds. The year after he worked at a bar called 'The Pooey' he met a young boy called Samuel Rivers. They made love and Wes gave bird a child called Fred Durst, The baby had a curious case and was born old as fuck. They then decided to create a band. They made Limp Bizkit, after the original members left, he then left Limp in 2001, citing scaring the crap out of differences with the band. He became famous for his unusually large pupils which are shown in the picture to the right.
De-KoRnization[edit | edit source]
Knowing Limp was the only living he had, Wes went to a counciler to rid him of his evil thoughts, when that was sucessful, he went to get eye surgery, the results were sucessful, and now he is as normal as That Guy.
Today or something[edit | edit source]
Wes is a much happier person today, he joined back with LImp two years ago, and he has a couple of side projects, but who cares about that. Wes still doesn't quite understand what the derivation of the band names is, but loves these crackers with mayonnaise everyone keeps giving him.
Rebellion[edit | edit source]
In 2025, Wes began to study the ways of the force to combat Oprah and her evil Sith army. In 2026, he was appointed Jedi Knight by Oscar Wilde. In 2034 he was gifted a the “cool guy” medal of honour for his rebellion work.