Welsh Marsh Owl

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The Welsh Marsh Owl (Lifialatris thithithalthethus) is a gigantic, ferocious species of predominately-flightless owl that lives in marshes, bogs, and swamps throughout most of continental Europe. The Welsh marsh owl, unlike most other owls, is an excellent swimmer and a good diver, able to hold its breath for six minutes or more.

The Welsh marsh owl rarely weighs more than seventy pounds, unless it weighs eighty or two-hundred and thirty-four. Welsh marsh owls usually stand five feet tall upright, not counting their sinuous, serpentine necks. While unable to fly, the Welsh marsh owl is supremely adapted for a water-based lifestyle, and as such it no longer has feet and/or wings. The Welsh marsh owl is widely considered to be the most beautiful of all of Europe's nocturnal marsh-dwelling semi-flightless entirely aquatic birds of prey, not only for its scaly knees and feathered rump but also for it's gloatingly beautiful eye sockets, which seem to emanate charisma.

Diet[edit | edit source]

Welsh marsh owls are known for their vast palette, and depending on availability, they easily adapt to a diet of small fishes and squid, although, like any animal, given the choice they prefer a diet of small waterbirds, mainly ducks and grebes but also an occasional many-miles-out-to-sea bear cub. The Welsh marsh owl is also notorious for its occasional human face-eating habits, making it a bane to swimers, divers, underwater farmers and sub-aquatic shopkeepers throughout Europe.