Vegetable oil
“How disgusting.”
Vegetable oil, also known broccoli milk, is a potion made of blood, sweat and tears by the wizards in China. It is recommended taking this potion by mouth, or through the ear. It was outlawed in 1620 due to the taste being horrible, and also because of the mass murder of multiple innocent people. Shit happens, alright?
Buffs[edit | edit source]
- Stealth +10
- HP +5
- Damage +999
- Funny -10
- Insanity +15
- Friends: 404: Number cannot equate to negative number.
Uses[edit | edit source]
Seriously? This section needs to exist? Really? Fine... stop looking at me like that. Jerk.
There are many uses for vegetable oil. Some examples include using it as a murder weapon, (see below) pretending you're taking a really thick piss, throwing those really hard-ass glass bottles at the elderly, etc. Other legal (a.k.a. boring) uses include cooking, using it competitively for recreational activities, and a fun game of catch, when grandma decides to actually catch it. Wholesome, innit?
People like you can also participate in weekly oil burnings, if you hate it with a passion. This activity was based on Operation: Fahrenheit 2,552 (See Controversy) during the vegetable oil protests of 1618. Truly an example of the wonders of history.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
Main article: Polish Wizard Tournament 1618 massacre
- During PWT '18 (Polish Wizard Tournament 1618), vegetable oil was accidentally thrown into the crowd, causing the largest death count known to mankind. The perpetrator, Slen Soan Kiffmeister, was put to death on account of mass manslaughter. Did I do that?
- Vegetable oil is typically made out of vegetables. If not, move your eyes a little down. More. Not the numbers. That's good, stop.
- Broccoli
- Cauliflower
- Cocaine
- Kerosene
- Alcohol
- Paper (Extra cuts!)
- More kerosene
- Carrots
- Fruit oil probably doesn't exist. If it does and is used, you are put to death. Life's a bitch, ain't it?
- Burger oil? That's preposterous. Why is this here?
Controversy[edit | edit source]
In 1618, after the massacre, many were shocked and appalled by the nature of vegetable oil. This led to many people coming together and protesting outside of the White House, because in the end, the USA government can really do anything with the world, next to China. Examples of protests include Operation: Fahrenheit 2,552, where crowds join together to burn vegetable oil bottles.
After about two or so years of backlash and boycotting, the president at the time, Lawrence Washington (George Washington's great-great-great something grandfather) decided to press the big red button labeled "DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT". After that, peace, tranquility, happiness, and disease spread throughout the world.
Sorry, what was this article about again?