User talk:Symuun/Lego JFK Assassination
Latest edit (Reality game/Death of a President)[edit source]
The concept's good, I'll grant you. I think there may be comedy gold yet to be found in the concept. Today we raise a smile; tomorrow, someone dies of laughter! How's this for a first revision:
Other works by the creators[edit source]
Death of a President[edit source]
Ever hear of this one? Y'know, the one where George W. Bush dies? Classic. We made it. In Switzicandinavia, we can sit atop our milk-chocolate, pocket-knife-adorned thrones and say "screw it" to the rest of the world with impunity. And thus we make money to make more Lego®s for the rich but mentally ill age 5-12 years old market to make more money to make more Lego®s. And so on.
Alternate reality game[edit source]
If you wish to experience the death of JFK in a new and exciting way, you may be interested in our three other consumption methods:
- Death of a President: the Prequel, our new CGI movie paid for by your tax dollars to educate the people of today. Done all in Lego.
- Inhalation
- Injection
- I'm not sure if I like this as much. What I was trying to get at with the "target audience" gag is that many adults buy legos as well, being all emo on message boards and saying that Lego is dumbing down everything too much and that their sense of "escapism" is lost. I like some other things, though, like the "If you wish to experience the death of JFK in a new and exciting way" thing. I also think the Alternate reality game needs expansion, and we might actually need to explain the "Create-a-Conspiracy" booklet. Maybe something along the lines of a sequencing chart, going in order like this:
- Pick a culprit!
- Pick a victim!
- Pick a setting!
- Pick a mythological deity!(optional)
It's a start. Not a good one, but one nonetheless.Vladius Magnum 23:05, 12 March 2007 (UTC)
Ah, okay. I see what you were getting at now. Hmm... condensing that concept of adults using Lego into a sentence or two of funny will be tough. How about something along the lines of:
That way, we can make more Lego®s, so that kids can have fun and adults can pretend they're buying it for their kids because they still haven't grown up!
I'm not sure this in itself is very funny, but it's the kind of angle we should take, I think. With the current version I just didn't get that the struck-out part was directed at adults. Meanwhile, that Create-A-Conspiracy booklet is funny, so that may as well go in, and I'll change "Alternate reality game" to "Alternate reality version" and put that in as well.--Symuun 22:23, 14 March 2007 (UTC)
No. Alternate Reality game is the proper term for such an event, and Lego has hosted at least one. As for the Create-a-Conspiracy booklet, it ended up turning into a HowTo article, and not a very good one. I got rid of it. We can still mention it though. I think that adding too much to the article would ruin its style of humor. More stuff in the "Features" section would be good. The JFK hovering between life and death at your control is downright hillarious, and the John Conally part I put in is funny if I do say so myself. I put it on Pee Review, by the way. Sorry for being random.Vladius Magnum 01:28, 15 March 2007 (UTC)
- No, no, it's all good. I didn't know an alternate reality game was an actual thing. I'll have a think about what else we can put in the features and get back to you. Pee Review's a good idea, as well; I should have thought of that before, really.--Symuun 08:10, 15 March 2007 (UTC)
From Pee Review[edit source]
| Humour: | 7 | Lego makes things funny. It's true. It's missing the Lego Zapruder film, with the attendant Zapruder Lego 8mm camera. I'm not having any LOL moments, but the idea is strong. Like my kung-fu. Which is strong. |
| Concept: | 8 | Hey, it's Lego. |
| Prose and formatting: | 6 | That almost half the page concentrates on other Lego sets is a bit worrying. Try to fill out the "main" text more; grassy knoll, maybe? Also, it might work better to stay within the Kennedy era; Gitmo no, Singsing yes. Read through something like the Wikipedia entry if you need ideas. Take your time. A short, brilliant page is better than one that has "bits" added simply to add length. Cruft sucks. |
| Images: | 7 | Competent. The closer you can make things like the Lego Contintental look like an actual Lincoln, the better. Which is probably asking a lot from Lego, but every little bit helps. Fade and play with the contrast a bit, so that at least one pic matches the Zapruder film as closely as you can get it; that's the image everyone remembers. |
| Miscellaneous: | 10 | |
| Final Score: | 38 | That last 10% always ends up being way too much work, but it's the difference between "Hey, Lego!" and "OMFG ROFL, Lego!" |
| Reviewer: | --Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 08:37, 7 April 2007 (UTC) | |