User talk:Rklawton

Welcome!

Hello, Rklawton, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for nooblets:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome! --General Insineratehymn 23:33, 6 December 2006 (UTC)

Tanks. No, I mean that. M1s are traversing on your position now. DUCK~!

Welcome to UnNews

Jesus bought the Holy Ass, depicted here as a raptor, from zim in 1066 AD.

Dont take this the wrong way, but your first contribution, Mary Cheney's Love Child, sucks. Title should not be all first caps (UnNews:Grue Flu Shot Non Shortage should be UnNews:Grue flu shot non shortage), no pics, poor writing, no sources, no highlighted key words, and really not that funny... at all... so try again, with a little more effort. You can pretend this is Wikipedia and that we have standards, and get laughed at, or you can read on...

On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 03:48, March 15, 2010 (UTC)

the important stuff about UnNews articles

Welcome to UnNews, and thank you for contributing some crap. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.

Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and celebrity. Cheers!

Prototype: how to do an unnews audio

Note: this crap is a work in progress

As for doing the UnNews Audio Perpendicular Mambo, first you'll need software to record sound files on your computer. I currently use Cakewalk Sonar, but many other applications such as the freeware Audacity, or other commercial applications like Steinberg's Cubase and Pro Tools Digital Audio Workstation will be great.

Having that in place, there ar UnNews jingle files you can download, and add to your files here:

• http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:UnNews_Jingle_British.mp3
• http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:UnNews_Jingle_American.MP3

You'll need to upload your final audio file in mp3 format.

Once uploaded, you'll need to tag the article you've read like this

{{UnNewsAudio|Your_soundfile_name.mp3}}.

Next, go to this page http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Template:FrontPageMediaMenuBeta, add your file with pointer and file size arranged like this:

Your_soundfile_name.mp3|article_title|<file size>KB|

The file size information can be found on the info page of the audio which you've uploaded.

The procedure for setting up your file for podcast is a secret freemason thingy which Olipro and I currently manage. I'm around almost daily, so I look for new audio files to delete fix, or whatever. If you get hung up with any of these steps, let me know, or alternately check out #unnews and #uncyclopedia on IRC. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 02:01, 8 December 2006 (UTC)

Thanks. Sources, links, and photos wouldn't be all that difficult. The topic has been in the news all week. The figures are public enough that links shouldn't be all that hard to find. And I'll have a chance to meet and photograph Mary Cheney later in January. She might be showing by then. There's not much I can do about the humor. Some folks find Libertarians funny. Others might improve on it. Of course, this is all rather moot since the article is no more. Rklawton 21:03, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

xMAS

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me! the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:00, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Happy Qwanza to you, too. Rklawton 17:46, 7 January 2008 (UTC)