User talk:Kay Onghowling
Welcome![edit source]
Hello, Kay Onghowling, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there and there is a window over here if you don't fancy walking down the stairs. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:
- Beginner's Guide
- Help Pages
- Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
- How to be funny and not just stupid
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (
) above the edit box.
At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but most people enjoy writing something while they are here. If you are critical and think the world would be infinitely better if everyone listened to you, then you should become a teacher, but check out Pee Review while they make sure you aren't a sex offender.
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. You can also look into the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program.
OK, I know you may have seen this message on lots of other people's pages, but I still had to come to your page to leave it here. If you have absolutely any questions, no matter how trivial, feel free to ask me here.
Here are a couple of important things that you should bear in mind as a brand new user, especially if you can't be bothered reading the beginner's guide.
- Read HTBFANJS I guarantee it will be a huge help to you and will stop your early efforts being deleted on sight by administrators.
- If you want to create an article, and you wanted to call it Bleurgh, to create it in your user space you would just make the address bar look like this: www.uncyclopedia.wikia.com/User:(Your user-name here)/Bleurgh. Please don't create it on this page as this is where other users can contact you.
- Always remember rule 2 and be constructive and civil at all times. Honestly, it works (mostly) and it won't get you banned.
- Have fun, that is after all why we are all here.
Again, welcome! ChiefjusticeDS 09:00, February 20, 2010 (UTC)
Welcome to UnNews[edit source]
I've moved your UnNews article here because it's pretty dreadful. Do not despair, however. Read my welcoming drivel below, and drink in the milky goodness of knowledge and wisdom, and fix the article to be more better. Actually, the concept is great, and I'd like to see it improved. Cheers! 
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 09:40, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
|
On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! |
Welcome to UnNews, Kay Onghowling, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.
I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.
You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.
If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.
Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.
Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?
If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.
At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.
- This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)