User talk:Jobot37

All hope abandon, ye who enter here. . . Just kidding...

Hello, Jobot37, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to the right... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for noobies:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

If you read anything at all, make it the above two links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages by typing four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date. Custom signatures are possible. Impress your friends, confuse your enemies - Sign your pages with a bang!

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, or ask at the Dump. Now go play!   Sir Tooltroll, Esq. CUN • Eh? • Oh! • UnTunes! •• I my cat! 08:32, 28 November 2006 (UTC)

Sig limits

The maximum height allowable for images in signatures is 12 px. While the image you're using as a sig is a fairly awesome photograph, it's more suited for a forum signature than a wiki signature. Take a look around the Village Dump for what sigs tend to look like here. —Hinoa KUN (talk) 20:53, 29 November 2006 (UTC)

Welcome to UnNews

First, congratulations on your first UnNews audio, and no, you shouldn't tell your friends. I noticed the song "Axel F" in the intro to your reading, and that is actually a copyright violation. You'll need to clip that mucic out, or edit your original file with the UnNews jingle (see below), or I'll fix it myself... I'll give you some time in any case.

the important stuff about UnNews articles

Welcome to UnNews, and thank you for contributing some crap. For a very quick introduction to the ins and outs, please take 30 seconds to read Help:How to write an UnNews article. Please note that proper formatting of an articles title has only the first word (after UnNews:) and proper nouns capitalized. The second offense of this cardinal rule gets your ass banned. Heh, just kidding... maybe.

Also, a perusal of HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article may help you sink to the average level of UnNews mediocrity, and go on to fame, fortune, and celebrity. Cheers!

Prototype: how to do an unnews audio

Note: this crap is a work in progress

As for doing the UnNews Audio Perpendicular Mambo, first you'll need software to record sound files on your computer. I currently use Cakewalk Sonar, but many other applications such as the freeware Audacity, or other commercial applications like Steinberg's Cubase and Pro Tools Digital Audio Workstation will be great.

Having that in place, there ar UnNews jingle files you can download, and add to your files here:

• http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:UnNews_Jingle_British.mp3
• http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:UnNews_Jingle_American.MP3

You'll need to upload your final audio file in mp3 format.

Once uploaded, you'll need to tag the article you've read like this

{{UnNewsAudio|Your_soundfile_name.mp3}}.

Next, go to this page http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Template:FrontPageMediaMenuBeta, add your file with pointer and file size arranged like this:

Your_soundfile_name.mp3|article_title|<file size>KB|

The file size information can be found on the info page of the audio which you've uploaded.

The procedure for setting up your file for podcast is a secret freemason thingy which Olipro and I currently manage. I'm around almost daily, so I look for new audio files to delete fix, or whatever. If you get hung up with any of these steps, let me know, or alternately check out #unnews and #uncyclopedia on IRC.

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:00, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

I've rekaizumed your audios

You'll notice, I've clipped the opening music (a blatant copyright violation) and replaced it with the UnNews theme. Please try to do this for yourself in future, so I can have free time to smoke reefer and interview for jobs. I think the above stuff explains the where and how. If you have any questions, let me know on my talk page.

On another tack, I'm very pleased with your readings, keep up the good work! sieg heil Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:18, 3 December 2006 (UTC)

time to speak of many things, of tractions engines, Brits and otters

Great job with the traction engine story! Where are you from, since I need to list you on the team page? Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 21:02, 4 December 2006 (UTC)

Oh, and I forgot to say, "you're welcome"... so, you're welcome for the help, such as it is. You are now on the team, so be a nice guy and get us some coffees? Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 22:01, 4 December 2006 (UTC)

mmmmmmmmm dinosaurs

Thanks for your kudos and ninjastar for my wrangling of the Jesus-velociraptor paradox. You are very kind, and have a nice brain. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:04, 7 December 2006 (UTC)

Nice job

"Kitten Huffing bishop facing calls to quit" was a noble effort... or noble gas, or something... anyway, Satan told me to tell you he's laughing his scrotum off. I liked it too.

One small item of criticism: you should reduce the jingle track volume so that it isn't so much louder than your vocalizations and grunts. Let me know if you need help with that, and thanks for you continued contributions... even if they did include three stool samples. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 20:14, 14 December 2006 (UTC)

xMAS

zim_ulator wishes you a Merry Kaizum Me! the first holiday officially sanctioned by the church of zimizm (cOz)!

Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 00:57, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Tally ho! says the Wookie

Good job dude. The helium was a nice touch. Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:29, 5 February 2007 (UTC)

HAH!

Great job on File:UnNewsClintonPigs.mp3. The deadpan, matter-of-fact tone carried the story brilliantly! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 19:02, 23 February 2007 (UTC)

It wasn't me

IT WASN'T ME But thank you for voting. And suffering.

~ 13:04, 1 March 2007 (UTC)