User talk:Instant991
Welcome![edit source]
Hello, Instant991, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, my name is RAHB, and I'll be your guide through the mystical land of Uncyclopedia. We'll begin the tour with a few helpful links for noobies:
- Beginner's Guide - A massive guide about how to be the best you can be at Uncyclopedia. I've honestly never read the whole thing in one sitting myself, but it is very useful if you're looking for help on a specific issue.
- Our Vanity Policies - This page details why we don't care about your friends, your school, your gay fourth period math teacher, or the homework he has you do, and in-jokes. DO NOT violate this policy.
- How to be funny and not just stupid - Our flagship link. This will tell you how to not get booed off the metaphorical stage that is Uncyclopedia. I STRONGLY suggest reading the entire thing through, perhaps more than once.
- Uncyclopedia:Best of - For a bit of inspiration. These are our featured articles. This is the kind of stuff we like to read around here.
Now that that's out of the way, take a look to your right, and you'll notice some more links, these ones are about help in general:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
- User:RAHB/welcome - This is a longer version of this message, meant for giving you a more in-depth look at contributing.
At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but I do recommend it, it can be quite enjoyable, and it's a good chance to let others take notice of your writing. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Instant991/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.
If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me on my talk page, and also check out the link I mentioned earlier. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave them a message on their talk page. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian, and remember: Have fun with it. We are a humor wiki, so don't worry about taking things too seriously. We're here to have a good time and to have a good laugh. Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date. Once more, thank you for your contributions and welcome! I'll be seeing you around. -RAHB 01:44, 4 May 2009 (UTC)
Are you certain...[edit source]
...you're you? I mean, you could very easily be someone else. CUN RA Talk to me _ 04:30, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
I am quite certain[edit source]
I stayed away from the orange kittens, so I'm pretty sure I can make a rational call on this.
- Ah, but can you successfully dodge the feared yellow kittens? CUN RA Talk to me _ 05:30, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
lets just say that a tasty human child and a yellow kitten look very similar to the soulless eyes of a grue.
- *sniff* I'm no child. You take that back! *pouts in corner* CUN RA Talk to me _ 05:36, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Oh sure, this is how it starts. You ask me to "take that back" and it just escalates and escalates until you want me to spend time properly thinking through my "witty" retorts. So no, pout all you want.
- I will. I'll have you know I charge by the hour for my pouting. CUN RA Talk to me _ 05:49, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
Also, quick question, what's with the + or - next the items on my watchlist? e.g. 04:24 Your Parents Might be Having Sex Right Now (diff; hist) . . (+3) . . Instant991 (Talk | contribs)
- The + and - refer to the amount of text that a particular edit added (+) or removed (-) from the article. CUN RA Talk to me _ 05:49, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
righto then.
Ah geeze, I forgot I left the meter running, shit. How much do I owe you for all the pouting?
- Let's see... 23 hours... plus the base payment of $20 dollars, with additional fees for late payment, and taking into account the moon cycles, income tax, and this year's salmon run... so you owe me about $70,000. CUN RA Talk to me _ 05:00, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
but today' caterday, so that means twos are wild card...
Reviewed your article[edit source]
Review here.
Saberwolf116 05:39, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
Thanks. I fixed most of the things you had issues with (aside from the first pic).