Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Your Parents Might be Having Sex Right Now
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Your Parents Might be Having Sex Right Now[edit source]
I wrote this article but it hasn't really gotten off the ground yet. I'm gonna put a few pics in, but it lacks that uncyclopedia kick in the teeth type feel. Instant991 04:14, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 3 | You start off with an OK concept and a few well placed jokes at the beginning, but then you drift off into randomness. Around the ending of the second section, pretty much nothing you said from then onward had anything to do with the title. I'd recommend rewriting this so that it resembles the first section, because right now, it's a bit incomprehensible because of the random humor. |
| Concept: | 4 | Well, there are two things I dislike with your idea: first, your article assumes that the reader has 2 parents who are married and who live in the same house. My parents are divorced, so I really couldn't get into this article because the scenario doesn't apply to me. You should make your article appeal to a broader range of people- more people getting your jokes= better article. |
| Prose and formatting: | 5.5 | Slightly better than the rest of the article. However, the second image looks a bit jammed together with the last section-either reduce the size of it, or move it to the second section. You also might want to proofread your article so you remember to use puncuations-the better grammar an article has, the slicker it looks. Finally, your last section is basically a list, which looks ugly and isn't really funny- make it into a paragraph. |
| Images: | 4.5 | Your first image was taken from a (much better) article, and your second image serves no real purpose other than to turn on some of our female and homosexual users. I think you could really go places with your images- maybe you could add a picture of the parents, or something along the lines of that. An article like this always has the chance to be made better with images. |
| Miscellaneous: | 3.5 | My overall grade of the article. |
| Final Score: | 20.5 | Basically, you've got a concept which has some potential, but drifts off into randomness soon after the introduction. You want to give your article a consistent style which is present throughout the writing- just throwing anything you can think of off the top of your head in doesn't make for a good article. The best thing you can do for your article right now is to look over it to get rid of random and unfunny jokes, as well as either seriously revamp or altogether get rid of your last section. You should also add some funnier images- either make your current images and possible new ones have hilarious captions, or ask a good photoshopper for help on getting some funny images in. You've got a decent concept which can be expanded to make a great article, but you need to keep at it if you want to make it great. Good luck! =) |
| Reviewer: | Saberwolf116 05:37, 10 May 2009 (UTC) | |