User talk:DrStrange/Guide to the American Roadside Attraction

Look Up Here!

Ok, I welded the banners together and did more formatting, how's it look now?--    15:05, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Still looks rather orf.

Zounds.

---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 16:01, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

WTF?.......OK, hold on.....BRB--    16:04, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Try that!--    16:14, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

Hooray! It works! May be some users who'll complain though. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 16:22, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

We'll entertain the novice coder for now, at the end we can worry about a better font unless there's something else I'm missing. Obviously, it's almost double spaced type due to the footnotes in that font and size...anyhoo. I'm ready to dig into this, just not now...gotta run!--    16:31, 18 March 2009 (UTC)

I went ahead and researched the proper font to use and the standard is Times Roman or Garamond. I changed over to Garamond which has a distinctive and forceful italic IMO. Let me know if you see anything else "disturbing" in the formatting because everything always looks super on my new mac mini w/older dell PC monitor. I've added what I believe to be the last section, I suppose it could have its own outro for the whole piece. After all, it's talking about killin' and such.--    13:12, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

The section you added is awesome. As for the finish of the article, I'm struggling to conjure any more motivation now, and Uncyclopedia is totally being depressing. I just want to get this and the WWF article complete and then I'm scarpering. I don't really know what should be done now except maybe deleting the Freaks section, all the research links, add some blue links, re-arrange the sections, categorise the damn thing and then plant it on PEE or VFH. Will wait for your response before I embark on the home run. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 18:19, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

Leave the freak links for the moment, I might use the "Thing" to set up Hitler's alleged 37' car. As a section, it's unnecessary but the material could be worked in elsewhere. There's still some touch-ups necessary here and there and I'm going to do a once-over on the entire piece to keep the language consistent and decide how many intentional misspellings we want to use. (Did we use the word "reckon" enough?) Blue-links would be helpful! Also, putting in more comments for the rest of the existing ref footnotes is another chore to be done. Last thing is to think of a name for our author to put in the bottom left corner of the book. We're almost there!--    18:40, 19 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm off for a day of disc golf, our last "team challenge" for the season. It'll be interesting to see how I'll hold up while on pain meds. Got a bad tooth that's getting pulled on Monday.--    10:35, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

Excuses, excuses. I have a football match to attend soon and then a lovely evening all by myself. I'll try and use the most of the vacant time. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 11:45, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

That was a welcome break. It looked like we were going to finally win a H2H match, going 6-4 after the first round of singles play (Individuals of team A are paired with individuals on team B and they play each other using "match-play" scoring, which means that every hole is either a win, loss or push - not like stroke play where every stroke counts toward a final total). Then, as usual, we got bombed in doubles play (team from each side playing each other in best-lie doubles, stroke play format) and went 2-8 for round two and lost 12-8 overall. Dammitt!! The bright spot is that I (barely) won my H2H match and me and my young partner (kids got the gun) shot a 48 (-6) on the 18 hole course, best of the day from everyone in attendance, resulting in our team's first two points of doubles play for THE ENTIRE SEASON. We're like the JV team for one of the local powerhouses. A team filled with people who don't have a roster spot on one of the real teams loaded with pro's. We're not the only expansion team and this was our first matchup with another expansion team in our two year history and we came up short. Gaaaaah!--    11:13, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Portsmouth beat Everton 2-1. Crouch double comes up trumps. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 18:06, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

OK, I'm minus two teeth and loaded on Oxycodone but I'm ready to start wrapping this thing up. I'm going to finish-up the Nazi section and make an adjustment to your intro to the section. Archie Bunker Americans know about only two kinds of countries in WW2, people who's asses we kicked and people who's assess we "bailed out", so I'm going to have to strike the cooperative tone with Churchill, though I do see the "gateway to tea" idea you had. Just a little rework.--    09:51, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

No, the edits you made look better. As for the leftovers section, I'm gonna go on a limb and admit I have no ideas for that. My head has hit an involuntary embargo for Uncyc ideas, it wants to do something else. Unless you can save any of the links there, it'll just be the Hitler's car gig left to be done. King? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 11:28, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, some bit about the zillion signs in the middle of nowhere for "the thing" leading to Hitler's car and we're done all for the final tweaks. I'm still not 100% on the name for an author though. Probably make his surname a city in the south-west or something. Think "Sam Houston" but alter both names obviously. I think I need to nap. Fuckin' pills. They're no fun when you have to take them.--    11:41, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Looks fine to me!--    14:15, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

Let's just delete the very last part of the article and pretend this never happened. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 14:25, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

Fine with me. First day without painkillers! Seriously, it's all done, it just needs a little tuning. I already started that process up top in the intro and I'm working my way down to the bottom - then toss into pee? Or just look up socky, he'll nominate anything! PLS was sure a distraction (and remains a distraction due to bizarre judging issues) Are you ready for an extended break from this place? I'm having one of those weeks that makes me wonder what I'm doing.--    14:33, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

I just did away with the last section. Do your rewrite thing and then put it on PEE when you're done (but only for a (quick) review, since neither of us are interested in listening to what somebody else thinks should be added. We'll just ask for a VFH opinion, yes?). Or we could somehow rig Socky's Random Page coding. As for the break, I am literally dying to see this article at least go for a VFH attempt (successful or not), then I can go away with an eased mind. I don't know what I'll be doing next (music or some such, maybe walking), but I'll prolly not write for Uncyc again until the summer. I'm told a lot of active writers on this site go on a hiatus and then come back randomly for a burst of featured articles. At least I have a few ideas for next time. What are you going to do? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 14:44, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

The regular, as opposed to winter, Disc golf season is starting up so I'll be spending less time here but I'll be around and writing. Now that I've officially been extended at least another 33 weeks on the dole (and no jobs anywhere to look for) I'll probably be spending more time at the gym as well. Tournaments last all day long and many a day gets ruined on the last nine holes if you're not in shape.--    14:51, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

Is disc golf anything like frisbees, but for people with no-one to catch the disc with? I've never heard of this sport. No wonder I enjoy football. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 14:56, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

There's a basket. It's the "hole". Essentially frisbees in spirit but the articles used are more like discus/disc. You can play catch with the putters but the drivers are not meant for playing catch - they're for distance. World's record is something ridiculous like 300 yards, I can throw 100. You're basically playing through trees and occasionally over water. Courses tend to exploit the terrain and altitude changes to make it tough. It's common to place a basket on a mound or some other geological structure to make it difficult to "lay-up" for a drop-in putt. It's a beer drinking crowd. --    15:10, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh I see. Say that does sound like fun. Although it does seem a bit of effort for a game that sounds like it could be done in the street, using a bin for a hole (or even a manhole as a hole. Especially if it is under maintenance). If it's a beer-drinking friendly game (like darts. Best shown here), does that mean there is a pub to be found near the disc golf courses? You mentioned seasons earlier on, do you play this competitively? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 18:01, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

I'll answer all that and get on to finishing this piece in a couple hours. Till then....--    10:58, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Still finishing. Just smoothing out the language and working more direct wikipedia links (therefore no footnote and external link) into some of the unlisted attractions. I might even remove some of the not-so-funny outside links if there's good direct wikipedia links. I've just finished touching up Henges, so the writing is almost done. I have a decent amount of time to work on this over the weekend so hopefully by Monday you'll find it finished.--    12:51, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Finished the book cover and named the author. I'm down to minor language/punctuation fixes for most of the article, a little work on Nazis and Killing and an outro paragraph. Just might finish today if I get enough time on the comp but if I have to spend the day finding free movies online to entertain the mrs (like yesterday), I'll be wrapping up Monday.

Yes, disc golf is extremely competitive. It's possible to be playing multiple local point series as well as nationally with the PDGA (PDGA.com) at a single event or it's possible to play events that are totally meaningless beyond the event itself. Since I play Amateur, I don't win cash but I do win "funny money" and prizes. I have piles of discs, enough to last me awhile. I haven't even started using the brand new golf bag I won last year. As an amateur, you can win CTP's (closest to the pin) and other special prizes that amount to cash. I won a CTP at the "team challenge" finals from last season and walked away with $100 for one shot. Unfortunately, I've never aced a hole-in-one. You win lots of money for those in tournament or league play because there's always a rolling "ace pot" at most courses. As for beer, people tend to BYOB at tournaments but some events actually have kegs of beer. Some courses have brew-pubs nearby and that last challenge we played in MA had a good one a mile away. They had a "Green Monster" double IPA was very tasty. (Green Monster refers to the left field fence in Fenway park, home of the Boston Red Sox).--    10:36, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

So, booze and money, both hallmarks of a sport that I'm interested in. It sounds to me like you're a relatively succesful discgolfdiscusthrower, or however the term is. Does the sport have much history, terrain variants, chances of becoming an olympic sport? (Zeke Heller is a wonderful name, by the way) ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 11:31, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

You'd think it would be an X-game or something but no dice. We don't feature expensive equipment that requires lots of promotional dollars to sell shiny junk. The sport was founded by hippies to some extent, the earliest players are all old hippies. I'm relatively successful because I'm playing AM in the over age 40 bracket called Masters or "advanced masters". My problem is consistency, I play like a sine wave. The division is also getting tougher so I need to keep my game sharp to win anything these days. By the way, I think the book is done save minor edits!--    14:21, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

You want to attach elastic to your wrist and body so you fling the damn thing miles. As for the UnBook, let's hope it gets a favourable PEE review. Quick reviews are usually done in a day. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 15:30, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Update for Nach

We have some adverts now. At the top (testing testing) I have a sample/example of the code I want to use for each section. Simple tables like Spang made for Private Eye. We can use different fonts for the sections that way, etc.--    19:52, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

It looks fantastic so far - I was looking forward to seeing what set-up you had in mind for this article, since that adds a unique extra to your articles. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 00:30, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Heads-up. I'm going to continue making ads out of the nutty/tasteless section today. Blacks in wax and mammy are next. I might do a few ads for hitler/WW2 items as well. Escalation. Spam and cheese get used early.--    12:48, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

OK, I'm officially laughing my ass off at the ads so I'll assume they're good (Of course, I can change the files at any time if you have any improvement suggestions). I think I'll hold it right there on images until we see how much text we get out of this.--    17:18, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Hopefully a few could be used, but they may well just ruin the formatting slightly. I'll inject the text with some prose and build up and strengthen the article, then we can think about decoration. I'm thinking maybe scorching orange would bring out the colours. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 17:54, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

The beauty of the ads is they can always be shrunk down to fit as many across as necessary. They're currently big but can easily make only two horizontal rows that will stay in a singular row in both popular viewing formats. If we differ we can always let someone pee on it to decide anything--    18:00, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

I think they look good as they are actually, but I don't know what will disrupt what when the text is complete. By the way, the format used in the Giant Things headline looks good. I'm going to use the normal headlines for now because there's no point dwindling on completing the font yet. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 18:58, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

We'll worry about decor later. Just use the graphics for inspiration for now. We'll also table the article and choose fonts later.--    21:59, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

I wrote (quite roughly) the text for the introduction section just now. Any comments? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:02, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Ooooh, you've got character. Looks fine to me. I was even going to suggest a more personal narration at one point which is where your at anyway. Good start.--    22:10, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

I think it's quite necessary to add a personal narration, as otherwise, there is danger it'd just be a list commandments to the reader in which there is 273 links to click on. Also, do you think this would be better off with the UnBooks prefix when the article is moved into mainspace? There are some articles (mostly pre-dating the existence of UnBooks) that feel like guides that aren't in UnBooks, but most are anyway. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:17, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

My original thought was UnBooks. Of course, there are "guides" in regular mainspace. Answer? We'll see!! How's that for definite? The ads look like they're from some cheap/free local travel guide (or perhaps on a cheap paper place-mat at the local sleazy diner). We'll probably go unbook....which means maybe making a tacky book cover.--    22:26, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm going to assume UnBooks and go ahead and make a book cover. There's a couple roadside books written by the same people and I'm going to emulate the look. I've got a nice big detailed picture of a lonely rural highway and I'm going to plop some buildings, signs and things in it.--    13:19, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Alright that sounds good, have fun. I'll concentrate on prose. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 16:13, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Well, that wasn't fun. But it's high quality. That's a reduced 2MB preview version and I still want to do something else with the title font. I only used large HQ photos that I could find on the net. The road sign was a couple hours alone! I'll finally get some writing in tomorrow.--    00:55, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Reshuffle

I've moved the sections around (and combined a couple) for the hypothetical best order for escalation. I'm going to start an untouched section sometime this morning. After we're finished with most of the writing, the last thing to do is scout out possible alternative links. I like the footnoting idea, very good. I'm sorta leaning on leaving the book CVR as-is but I can always reduce it a little and add larger text. The current operating file is just under 10mb and huge. That's actually the biggest font I could generate. 256pt. I can reduce the file a little before dropping in new text if you think it should be altered and the letters should be larger/bolder. I wish I could get the big, fat outlines with my editor but I only get a light outline best.--    10:21, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Quick notes, don't have much time. The book cover looks great - one note though: It lacks the eye-catcher that covers have. Magazines usually have someone who is looking straight at the reader, books tend to have something that is right on the center. One suggestion is the author standing proud in the center. The banners seem to disrupt the text, although that may just be this monitor. The text for the title could also be improved, but I reckon you're aware of that. The school is blocking certain Uncyclopedia pages at a time, so I'll have to wait until tonight. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 11:20, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

We'll see what the banners look like when it's all filled up. Right now they're positioned so that they should be fairly well separated from each other and not "interact" with the text after we fill-in the sections. If you have the browser resolution way too zoomed in - yes, the page will look like shit because of the separate images displayed horizontal issue. I can fix that (if necessary) by joining the solo files into doubles, problem solved. I've been doing the HTML this morning so who knows what you have/haven't seen yet. Good input on the CVR, I'll look for some nobody with an intriguing face to be the "author" and perhaps put him in a circular at the open lower left corner. I also have a good opening above the Jackalope to find a good head of something to float in that space and stare back at the reader, perhaps one of the muffler men images would be appropriate. I'll shrink the original a bit to allow my 256pt limitation be more than enough to get a nice, tall, fat, condensed font in there. It will never be as good as the example unfortunately, I just can't do that. I know there's some fonts that get better outlines than others on this thing so I'll be looking into that at the end. BTW, do you notice what is subliminally at the center of the book cover? hee hee!

Quick formatting note: You don't have to <small></small> the ref's in every line, just once at the bottom with the footnote section "command". I'll fixit--    12:01, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Just did a quick section, "borderlines" which was fun. Just quickly discuss the subject and highlight the worthy candidates, boom bam bing. I'm having good luck finding alternative links to roadsideamerica which makes us look more researched than we really are. Great page for 45th parallel and alternative wonder tower link. We might have to reshuffle the sections again because I'm really not feeling the order right now. Perhaps it'll be clearer when each section is written and can be rated by shock value. This is shaping up to be a monster though.--    13:25, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Wall of Text! Anyway. The borderlines section is very, very cool and I think should set the standard for the rest of the article, as I was unsure how to splurge the links. Speaking of which, I'll stop using the <small> tags, I didn't realise there was an easier way of doing that. Also, I'll say it again: the cover does look really good, exactly what I imagined a book cover for this subject would look like. The ramifications should look mighty fine. Lastly, sorry for not contributing much in the past two days. I have a few things to get through first then I'll make sure all I do on Uncyclopedia this evening is work on the article. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 16:06, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

You're apologizing? I feel delinquent spending so much time image chopping. I think we're doing great! It's just a matter of finding the right homegrown redneck twist to put on everything. Hope you like the font, it's a wee biggish to simulate a cheap book but everything is changeable....anyway, like I said earlier, I'm off for a few!--    16:22, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Well, I felt it was my unchangeable duty to apologise even for inconveniencing someone, but in this case it'll be because I'm possibly feeling rather down recently (mishaps including receiving a "final written warning" from my boss concerning my part-time job. I'm disappointed that I didn't get a first written warning) and this usually means a creativity deficit - but no matter, I only have a few projects left here before I can embark on a break once more. Anyway, the font looks good, I'm happy with that. Also, I added a picture in the religion section, but it's messed up the banners again. I don't know how to deal with that!---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 20:28, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Looks like Reagan has decided to do Star Wars anti-ICBM protection system himself! ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 17:10, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

Hope you like it! I couldn't find or think of a good attention grabber for the cover and remembered somebody doing something like this with another subject, so I figured it was silly enough. I'm a little brain drained right now. Looks like another week on this project for sure.--    18:28, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

That's totally fine. My schedule is troubled on some days, but I'll add whatever I can, pick at some bones. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 19:33, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

I have about as much time this weekend to point out that this monitor (different to my usual hub) portrays the coding in the article as a horrendous mess. Thankfully, we can still work on the other sections without thinking "oh god, if only I could READ this!". ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:34, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Really? Are you showing the font huge or small, or is it just wide-screen? Anyhoo, appreciate the work your doing today. I've decided to cram another project in for poo-lit. We'll resolve the formatting either way, we can always lose the alternate font/size. I'll be writing again soon, been doing some coding/photo searching today.--    19:39, 16 March 2009 (UTC) I just found a missing in the first section of the intro.--    19:47, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Doing the ridiculous thing and taking my laptop over to compare screens, I found that the PC's monitor is larger. Are there still many people who complain about the tower of fags on Private Eye? Perhaps a similar solution could be put forward. I'm going to try focusing most of whatever energy for Uncyc I have left on this article - my attention problem is setting in (god knows what I'm going to do next). Also, good luck on the Poo-lit, I was going to enter User:Nachlader/World Wildlife Fund but that was done to early, and User:Nachlader/Child labour came to late. Although I know the real reason WWF was rejected: I would've swept the floor with everyone else. Good luck with your other project. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 20:13, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Clipboard

A clearing up of what I think your idea is with redundancies: attractions that claim to be exclusive, but are oblivious that they aren't? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 21:32, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

Yes and no. Individually, there's too many so it would be best to have one section of world's biggest_______ where they all get run through without too much individual attention. eh? I make all kinds of frenetic notes before I start writing, it's the "new way" ever since Damsel in Distress.--    21:40, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

I noticed there is quite a few museums with Nazi memrobillia, so we could twist the joke a la the movie Rat Race and claim that they are meeting places for Neo-Nazis in America.

Of the article, I'm thinking of two fronts at the moment: the actual attractions, which is currently being done of course, and the presentation of the guide. Should it be something like (roughly) "On the most exhausting of road trips that tear through the mid-west and the deep south, you'll occasionally notice the colo(u)rful (this'll be American, obviously, so I'll bite the bullet with spelling) signs that litter the beautiful, sun-baked, orange landscape that depict the country of America. Exactly, we're tired of the landscape as well. Like us, you may be more enthralled by the signs, the messages they carry, such as: "Largest ______ etc etc" or "Hitler's Brain etc etc".". The same passage could also include how the kids nag the reader to stop at the attractions, but it doesn't hit the reader until now that s/he could stop at the attractions. This way, a potential "Attractions for your children!" section could be added to the article. But let's toy with the attractions first, shall we? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 21:52, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

Definitely an open book here. You never really know which aspects to pursue/exploit until the research is done. The dialog about driving cross-country with kids is also a universal winner. Who doesn't have a story? Actualities that I'm compiling can be tweaked for hilarity by adding disinformation too. It can be surreal.--    22:05, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

Most likely we'll categorise the attractions and weave them into various sections of the guide. The issue of images is pretty much done, I think, we'd just need to take pictures from the attractions and focus the humour on the caption (the first image could show a road trip in progress though). But yes, as you said, we should finish the research first. It's 10pm over here, so I'll start scoutin' tomorrow. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:11, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

I was also going to add, you can write out ideas/entries and not worry about being "unamerican", I'll just tweak the words for you.--    22:13, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

I had a thought about this I felt compelled to share: why not select a cross-country interstate highway and just focus on attractions near to that? Or you could select the attractions you like from all over the States and falsely attribute them to a certain highway. Just a thought to help keep this one focused and not massive or overwhelming. Good luck, this is a promising idea. IronLung 01:27, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

You are extremely correct about the scope. It needs to be "fun size".--    01:39, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

And on that note, perhaps being even more specific in the title might be a better idea. Do a smaller article on just a region, perhaps. There's always the opportunity to do another region some other day if this proves funny.--    10:04, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

It could definitely do without sounding overwhelming for the reader, and this idea reeks of "fun size" material given the selection of attractions, but then we don't need to imply that the guide is just a progressive insight into the attractions, say like it wouldn't be all "And then a few hours of driving, you should come up to the next attraction...", but maybe more like the sections dig into various kinds of attractions, historical, largest, inane, pointless, etc. I'm unsure about regionalising the articles, because it may be hard to find a single state that arguably has the full works. Or if we go with IronLung's idea and make up a highway... It would mean being slightly disloyal to the intended title of the UnBook, which I think fits the concept too much to be let on. Anyway, I'm going to research the attractions some more. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 17:52, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

I like the idea of sections devoted to specific tendencies of roadside attractions and staying national. The website we've been looking at has a "popular themes" section on the left and down a bit.--    18:09, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

The website is a godsend - it is almost the internet version of a rather pointless attraction that yet captures humour. The sections I can think of so far are: Introduction, Largest etc, Tasteless attractions (KKK, Nazis, homophobic, etc), Pointless attractions, Kid's attractions (of course, we should put some highly inappropiate [1] attractions here too), misc maybe. There should be quite a few potential sections out of this. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 19:11, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm trying to flesh out "possible" sections which can either be combined or tossed. One thing the website doesn't do is exploit every possible theme like they did with the obvious "mystery spots". That link is all inclusive. I think we're heading in the right direction.--    10:58, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm thinking this should be written really "snarky" and just rip on people's fascination with the stupid and mundane. Maybe with a self loathing quality, perhaps even ashamed-to-be-amused at a few items or perhaps just straight-up disbelief at our consumerism/voyeurism society.--    11:42, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

You mean the narration should take on a overhyped viewpoint? Like trying to squeeze as much interest in what sounds like the most depressing attraction available (a matchstick museum or something)? I was thinking it'd be a mixture of the author trying his hardest to somehow make some of these places interesting, as well as suggesting the crudest and most daft attractions that can be found. This is another part of the scope that could yet be extended somewhat. I'm tied down with some school work this evening, but I'll try and add some ideas by tonight. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 16:20, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

I love the language barrier. Your in school and my terminology stinks. The tone of the article could be done many different ways. I started what I call a "snarky" tone toward Americans with one sentence in the Giant things category (just to stare at it, like the other false starts). That idea would have us just ripping on American "culture". You've sorta brought up another good strategy, doing the article "straight" with faux reverence for the most incredibly mundane things we can find. Like we're trying to sell the crap for profit. Perhaps with the photos constantly undermining the positive hype. I like that idea too--    17:28, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Perhaps both language styles could be brought in via a progressive style presentation; at first, the sections and their attractions are somewhat innocent but indeed quite pointless, but as the article goes on, the author will turn quite sarcastic, snarky as you say, offering tasteless places to visit, such as the Nazi memorabillia (I saw the Hitler stuff link you added - why am I not surprised America has all that?) and slightly more subtle gruesome places. The kid's section could take a scaled down version of this strategy too. What do you think? I'm gonna try and think of example openers to each of the sections, as well alternative headlines, etc. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 17:42, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Escalation, yes. Perhaps every section could have a short kidz guide or Kidz Tipz (Should be spelled atrociously}. Some of those categories might be eliminated or combined but who knows. Maybe I should throw some Salem, MA stuff for the kids. Witch trial history and such. Just noticed your addition, looks good. Trying to sell America like it fits in your pocket and not worry too much about time, space and location will help keep it short.--    19:08, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

The escalation idea is somewhat of a mixed bag, I think. Even with a mere slant of a story formatting, the text will end up seeking somewhat of an emotive ending, perhaps much to amiss for an UnBook intended as guide. If it doesn't have an expressive conclusion, the reader may have mixed feelings over the article as a whole. Know what I mean? In the example opening I produced for one of the sections, I tried to adapt a kind of country-loving American, religious, nationalistic, blunt, somewhat rustic character. I've often found that this character is devoid of city-level education, willing to support any traditionalistic values within his home, and strays from tragedy or open insanity. My feeling is that the character and the escalation-type scenario may clash on several fronts - unless you think there is another way? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 19:32, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

I say just a material escalation instead of a verbalized, As in save the freakiest subject for last kind of escalation. Internationally speaking, the voice should be slightly rednecky, Like some bible belt car salesman? (to make a description up on the spot). My understanding is that Europeans are fascinated with our redneck creation museum ignorance so that voice/tone is appropriate.--    20:05, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

I wholesomely agree with the escalation idea, then. I can usually identify different kind of American people, whether they're from the west coast, from a 'soccer mom' state, from NYC or from the south, or whatever. The feeling I get with the so-called rednecks is slightly mixed, I was never sure what the full description was; a person so backward that their accent is as strong as any rotten pungent of a mouldy apple, that they live in a caravan and they "shoot hickies". The character I tried to assume in the passage that opens the suggestion in the Largest etc section, I tried to sound slightly rednecky, but insinuate that the author has enough sense of civilisation, if you will, to be able to write a guide. The most recent piece of media I saw based in the deep south was the film No Country for Old Men (just last weekend, actually). I'm slightly leaning on that. With the non-verbalised escalation, the character may afford to act completely constant throughout the article, never stopping from his patriotic stride. I'll try and fresh out a few more examples of my characterisation understanding. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 21:34, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Embarrassed me will watch the movie tomorrow morning. Just haven't gotten around to it.--    22:01, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

It's certainly film of the decade. Oh, Coen brothers! You doth toy with my frustrations so. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 22:04, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

New headline so I don't have to scroll up

Now that the structure plan is starting to materialise, what about the actual thoroughbred content? Are we going to unleash an onslaught? Like, each sentence may cover one attraction, whilst the best ones may attract a more in-depth description? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 17:26, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Good question. I was thinking about something like that. Highlighting the best ones while somehow giving brief mention to others without being listy. I feel like it may need to come across like a tacky visitors pamphlet to some degree.--    17:32, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Also, one problem we may run into: we have to make sure we don't just end up forcing the reader to click this link, then click this link, then click this, etc, etc. All the more for joke potential anyway. Each of the sections should perhaps have a meaty introduction that goes for a while before the first link cometh, as to balance it out. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 17:43, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

I definitely don't want a bunch of linkage from the same website, that's for sure. We'll see how we can weave some in and perhaps find alternative sites to link with. I would just clear my mind of that stuff and think about expressing the theme of each section, the rest of the details have a way of working themselves out on their own.--    17:54, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Well some of the attractions will have official websites, right? Whenever available, we'll just use them. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 21:36, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Today I'm going to be in Birmingham with family and to go to a evening of Beethoven. So no edits from me for a while. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 09:28, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

I hear ya! I'll finish up the research this weekend and we should be actually writing by Monday. I actually like Beethoven, are we seeing a "greatest movements" concert or a couple of the complete symphonies? Maybe some non 1-9 stuff perhaps? I know he wrote a lot of other pieces which I've only heard a little of. Such complex musical structures coming from a shabbily dressed crazy guy.--    10:45, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

I saw a performance of his 7th symphony (some 30 minutes long), but before that, in the first half, we saw 30 minutes of Haydn and 25 minutes or so of Mozart's piano concerto (I've forgotten which ones were played in particular though). The Haydn pieces were absolutely fantastic, reminded me of Dvorak, but then I realise the latter had been influenced by Haydn. Mozart's piano concerto is definitely one of the best piano pieces I've ever had the pleasure of listening to, whilst Beethoven's 7th was fantastic - a revolutionary battlefield that allowed the composer to expel his boundless eccentricities, as you duly pointed out. Even though some of his music is strikingly constant within it's assault of the orchestra, he is yet able to squeeze out some humour in his work - forcing the musicians to believe that a certain passage of the tune won't be repeated, but does anyway, and then vice versa later on, all the while presenting a beautiful piece of sound to our ears. And now I'm back home listening to INXS. My music interests are impossibly wide. Anyway, back to the article, I'm going to leaf through the links until I feel tired enough to fall asleep and then try adding some prose tomorrow. Until then. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 00:30, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh, and buy my book. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 17:27, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

I got about 1/3 of the way through before I got distracted and now you've just reminded me about that very thing.--    17:35, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for your vote. Currently, it looks like it could be featured, which means I'll have to work on another template - but I'll be willing to just hand out Japanese chicks again. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 21:36, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Pics

Now here's an American tradition. The small city/town that exploits its only less-than-awesome landmark, appearing in the names of multiple local businesses. A smiling water tower town?.......lord.--    11:10, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

This feels like a classic timewaster of an attraction - The 'Thing'! What could it possibly be? Who could give two fucks? ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 18:48, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

Just so you know (in case you didn't already).....we won't have to use any of Roadside America's pics. Every one of these sites has pictures on the net from some shutterbug tourist. The corpse of some mysterious "thing" is another standard for traveling carnivals and roadside attractions in the US. --    09:32, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Or we could crop out the link on the image. I often do things like that. ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 11:34, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Cheating!......I do it all the time. PS I'm off for a few hours if you want to do some work without edit conflict--    12:05, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

An image from dead animals on display. Don't forget to pick up a t-shirt!