User:Nachlader/Child labour
Child labour is the strongest form of energy, beaten only by the immense power of the atom. What nuclear power, in all it's beautiful, luminscent, gene-expanding glower, doesn't provide however, is the personal touch, the use of formerly irritating brats and the excuse for fathers that they use to tell children "this'll make you a real man (or woman)".
History[edit | edit source]
Child labour has been enforced for years. The whole reason the industrial revolution even came about to
Advantages[edit | edit source]
Coal power, oil power and steam power each belch endless plumes of black smog and poison into the sky, causing the atmosphere to self-harm. On the other hand, child labour merely emits the piercing, yet endearing screams of young, innocent children, nothing that harms the enviroment. Research in 2008 suggested that 93% of all enviromentalists in the UK agree that child labour is the way to go. The 7% that disagreed are readers of the enviromentalist column on page 4 of The Sun.
Cleanliness[edit | edit source]
The children are hosed down every late-ish evening (1am) before they are sent to bed, and every dawn (4am) before they are woken up by a man playing his trumpet loudly into their ears. The water is supplied
Self-efficiency[edit | edit source]
Unlike fossil fuels, the supply of children
Every monday, the children are given a handful of stale bread and unsafe water from a well somewhere. This is their substinance for the week, until the next monday when they will be fed once more.
Adolescence and the end of a child's working life[edit | edit source]
Of the millions of children employed in the child labour industries, only 15% live long enough to the age that they receive sexual education. The survivors... children who do live that long are known as 'adolescents'.
In the late 19th century, some adolescents decided they wanted the child labour classes to be represented in British politics, and so the kids founded the Child Labour Party. They defeated the Conservative Party in the 1997 general election and they are currently in power of the UK (Tony Blair became the UK's youngest Prime Minister since Pitt the Younger, who came into power as a four year old[1]). Child governership of the nation interprets that child labour is still very much in use, while the 21st century grown ups are generally happy to let them do the work.