User talk:ConMan
{{NSFW}} is a joke. It's not a serious template. It's used mostly to help people find porn. Not to avoid it. If you have loaded the page you already saw it right?
Welcome![edit source]
Hello ConMan, and welcome to Uncyclopedia!
So what's this message all about? Well, I know it looks like this was automatically generated, and well, OK... you caught me. I'm lazy, so I paste it in. But... if you have been sent this it does mean that I have noticed your contributions, and think that you're going to do some good stuff here. So who am I? Oh, just someone putting his nose in where it is probably not wanted...
Anyway, if you have not already, I SERIOUSLY recommend that you read the link below:
Probably the second most important link for a newcomer is:
- How to be funny and not just stupid - Basically it's a guide to writing humours articles which has been edited and improved over time by the users of this site. It's not an insult, and it's well worth a look.
If you want to find out how we decide which articles to feature on the front page, check out the VFH page. Basically, we vote for them. Anyone can vote. Especially you! You might find VFH a useful page to look over as it gives an idea of the kind of standard which you need to reach if you want to get an article featured.
If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia, try these:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing
- Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
- Our Vanity Policies - stuff we don't care about
- The FAQs - a few commonly asked questions answered for your convenience
If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page (if this message has appeared in the last few minutes, I'm propablly still on-line). I am an admin, but if you already think I'm an asshole, try talking to another. If you think you are going to be around a while, and would like extra help on a more personal level, you just might be able to convince someone at the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program to take you under their wing. Check out this and browse our list of available mentors. Choose your victim and leave one of them a message on their talk page.
Remember to use the "Preview" button before you save your edits to make sure that the page looks as you want it. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (
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Again, welcome! -- MrN 
01:12, Feb 16
Hello there...[edit source]
Um, I think perhaps you may be missing the point of Uncyclopedia. This site is no safe for work. None of it is. Many of our jokes rely on being crude in places. Your attempts to "censor" them spoil the joke. Please don't do that. If you don't like it, you need to leave this site. There are however MANY pages on this wiki which have been vandalised or contain profanity which has been added by idiots and does not contribute to the humour at all. It's not difficult to spot as the tone and use of English makes it obvious. If you want to go around removing swear words... Try using the search box on the left to find pages with rude words in. However, don't try an censor this wiki when it's real humour as opposed to the ranting of a 10 year old. Especially when talking about an article which has already been featured on the front page. Thanks. MrN 08:51, Feb 17
- Yeah, that was a joke... don't you get it..? ConMan 09:05, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
- Nope. Why don't you explain it to me? There are actually no nipples showing on the Battle of the Sexes page, and I suspect that if any did find that page using the NSFW template (because they were trying to have a wank) they would actually be rather disappointed. If there is one thing we don't want to do the that's upset people who are trying to jerk themselves off. The main reason I came to your talk page was because of this edit which (to me) clearly appeared that you don't get it. Maybe you can explain that one to me also? MrN
09:33, Feb 17
- The joke was about the page for a template about bleeping profanity was bleeped. ConMan 04:23, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Nope. Why don't you explain it to me? There are actually no nipples showing on the Battle of the Sexes page, and I suspect that if any did find that page using the NSFW template (because they were trying to have a wank) they would actually be rather disappointed. If there is one thing we don't want to do the that's upset people who are trying to jerk themselves off. The main reason I came to your talk page was because of this edit which (to me) clearly appeared that you don't get it. Maybe you can explain that one to me also? MrN