User talk:Bradaphraser/bios

Excerpt from interview with RCMurphy:

Brad: "Euroipods: What the hell?"
rcmurphy: "Why Euroipods? Why, it's the same question mankind has been asking for millennia. Why scale the mountain?
...Because it was there. Why feature Euroipods? ...Seemed like a lark."

UNP Interview #1: Carlb

Conducted Jun 20, 2006

• What does it feel like to be the most notable person at Uncyclopedia?

Dunno! I'm not even close to being most notable here. I didn't found Uncyclopedia or invent the puzzle potato or write a stack of featured articles. I've made plenty of edits, but many of those have been for very mundane purposes, such as tagging categories onto thousands of articles which needed them.

• So, how have you managed to be so active, yet so invisible?

Much of what I've been doing really isn't exciting enough to need to be highly visible. Moving one-and-a-half thousand Zork pages out of the main space into Game:? That's the sort of boring task a robot could do - nobody cares - but deleting en masse all of the useless redirects left behind by such a move fills recentchanges very rapidly indeed.

• Is your obscene contributions list the result of some hack of Uncyclopedia's servers?

Obscene contributions? Me? I'm pure and innocent... and that page on Backdoor Bitches Vol 1 is about, uh, cute puppy dogs... yeah, that's the ticket. We're a respectable, scholarly encyclopædia and I wouldn't ever even think of writing obscenities. No, not me...

• What was Uncyclopedia like back when you started?

Just over a year ago? Pretty much anything goes. Of the six thousand or so articles in one language, some were clever, funny and original and some were just useless substubs. "This article is a stub. Its author has been smoking crack (or croaking smack)..." or "This page is crap. The author acknowledges this." A lot of cleaning-up needed to be done.

• What are your most favorite and least favorite changes from those early days?

Hard to say... we now supposedly have wikis in twenty-one languages, varying in size from eighteen thousand pages down to basically zero. The standards for keeping a page in the English-language Uncyclopedia have been tightened significantly and thousands of bans have been handed out, sometimes a little too readily. Compared to the early days (in which Undictionary was turned into a dumping ground for every useless stub that no one wanted to delete), the pendulum has swung rather far the other way. In some ways, it's good to see the unfunny one-liners gone, in others it seems that maybe we've gone too far. Let's save the bannination for vandalism and malicious activity, instead of using it without warning the moment anyone posts BBBBBBBBB! again.

• What contribution to Uncyclopedia are you most proud of?

My personal favourites? Most likely the stuff on Hurricane Katrina (various pages scattered amidst the wreckage), not because any of it was quite featured-article material (it wasn´t) but because it steps a little too close for comfort to the truth. From failing to build a usable evacuation plan to building foundations for floodwalls only ten feet deep in marginal-quality soil to deliberately turning away much-needed supplies and private disaster aid, every level of government bungled every aspect of this from start to finish. If open ridicule of what happened forces all to learn from the deadly blunders that were made, instead of dismissing all of this chaos as an 'act of God', hopefully there is an incentive not to repeat the same mistakes? Satire and ridicule can be effective tools in exposing not only apathy but outright incompetence at times - something to be taken seriously.

• Do you have any funny Uncyclopedia-related stories that most Uncyclopedians don't know?

Not really, as the nature of wiki is that everything takes place out in the open. Any incident, whether it be trying to pick up the pieces after hosting a 2000-page wiki on an unstable home computer, watching Taiwan assert its independence from China in the pages of Uncyclopædia Babel: or even one of the admins suddenly and inexplicably transforming himself into a robot, it's all out in the open. For better or worse.

• Are there any questions I totally should have asked, but didn't?

The name of my psychiatrist? I'm a nutter, I am. I have to be...

UNP Interview #2:Splarka

Conducted June 29, 2006

• Who are you, and why should I care?

I am User:Splaka, and you shouldn't. I am a Wikipedia and Wikia user on occasion. I was adminned against my will here by User:PantsMacKenzie. Anything I do is his fault.

• Wait, you're Splarka? Didn't you ban Africa once?

That was Los Angeles.

• Everyone knows you're Hitler, so I just have to ask this: why attack Russia when you hadn't finished off Britain?

That was Los Angeles and Connecticut.

• There's a really nasty rumor going on questioning your sexuality: could you put that to rest here once and for all?

No. The rumors are too entertaining.

• In a battle between you, RC, and Chronarion, who REALLY runs this place?

If Chronarion wasn't such a lazy fucker, he would. In the absense of that, it is like that episode of Star Trek where Kirk gets split into good and evil halves. Guess which half RC is. Well, I am the other half. Actually there are quite a few older administrators who run things here. But not you, you're too n00b.

• If you could undo one thing you've done in your time here, what would it be?

This interview! Or maybe undo not choosing the right numbers for that $300 million dollar lottery jackpot.

• Is there anything I missed that I REALLY should have asked?

Yes, you should have asked me to calculate the last digit of pi, giving you a chance to escape while I overheated.

• Finally, is there any way I won't get banned for doing this interview?

You can unban yourself, adminslut. Wouldn't do much good to ban you for 24 years (though it might feel good).

Proposed UNP #3: Todd Lyons

being worked on by Zombiebaron

• Okay, so I had a look at you're userpage, and you seem to document everthing, why?
• People seem to view you as "quite cheerful", even saying "[Todd is] one of the nicest people here". Is that all just a cover?