User talk:Bob3

Welcome!

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

The Balloon welcomes you!

Welcome to Uncyclopedia! Read these or risk acting like a noob, noob:

• Beginner's Guide
• How to be funny and not just stupid

Got a question? Ask someone, such as me, on their talk page--just don't forget to sign with four tildes after your comment.

Starting an article? Either tag it with {{Construction}} for a 7 day construction period or put it in userspace (ie: User:Your Username/Userspace subpage name)

Want long-term help? Check out Adopt-a-Noob.

Still lost? Check out some of this other shit if you feel like it:

• The help pages
• The FAQs
• The vanity policies
• Getting started

Rhetorical question that I'm going to answer in the next sentence? Yes, that is the pattern this message follows! Isn't parallel structure fun? Anyway, enjoy your stay at Uncyclopedia. (If you don't I'll stick my hand into the computer screen, reach through the internet, drag you into my dimension, and give you a nice warm cup of tea. Also I'll ban you forever.) Again, welcome! - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 01:46, Nov 20