User talk:BidEd
Welcome![edit source]
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Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic. |
Hello, BidEd, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for registering an account. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there and there is a window over here if you don't fancy walking down the stairs. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you:
- Beginner's Guide
- Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends
- How to be funny and not just stupid
If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help then these links are useful:
- About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
- How to get started editing on uncyclopedia
- Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button (
) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but most people enjoy writing something while they are here. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example,User:BidEd/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - onto it as well.
If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. You can also look into the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program.
OK, I know you may have seen this message on lots of other people's pages, but I still had to come to your page to leave it here. If you have absolutely any questions, no matter how trivial, feel free to ask me here.
Here are a couple of important things that you should bear in mind as a brand new user, especially if you can't be bothered reading the beginner's guide.
- Read HTBFANJS I guarantee it will be a huge help to you and will stop your early efforts being deleted on sight by administrators.
- If you want to create an article, and you wanted to call it Bleurgh, to create it in your user space you would just make the address bar look like this: www.uncyclopedia.wikia.com/User:(Your user-name here)/Bleurgh. Please don't create it on this page as this is where other users can contact you.
- Always remember rule 2 and be constructive and civil at all times. Honestly, it works (mostly) and it won't get you banned.
- Have fun, that is after all why we are all here.
Again, welcome! ChiefjusticeDS 23:53, November 24, 2009 (UTC)
Welcome to UnNews[edit source]
You'll notice I've tidied your article up a bit. Check out my drivel below for information required to be an UnNews superstar. Cheers! 
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 16:30, November 26, 2009 (UTC)
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On your knees, worthy one! The Right Reverend Major Sir Zim_ulator blesses you. Your blessings are increasing exponentially. In the name of Sophia, the Church of Uncyclopedia and the Universal Church Triumphant of the Apathetic Agnostic, kneel and receive the melding of Zim's holy axe and your wetware. Now go write me a good UnNews article. Cheers! |
Welcome to UnNews, BidEd, and thank you for contributing some crap, or otherwise attracting my attention. For a quick introduction about how you can write a decent or better UnNews article, please take a minute read our spiffy new Style Guide.
I am your humble servant (in your dreams), and if I may be of help to you, please leave me a note on my talk page.
You can win awards and prizes! You can become a better writer by subjecting your articles to the scrutiny of UnNews critique machine or UnCanninator shit article detection system. You can become a thorn in the side of Journalism as a whole. You can get promotions, ribbons, and free crockery! You can write stuff your mom would be ashamed to show her friends.
If you've submitted an article, and it's disappeared, I may have mercy-moved it to your user space. This means I've probably left a message on your talk page, likely in close proximity to this very message, explaining why.
Your article may have been tagged for ICU if it has significant problems meeting our criteria, or I may have deleted it because you did not register as a user.
Finally, maybe you just pissed me off. I mean, I know I'm a Roshi, and I'm supposed to be all "Zen" about everything, but I have bad days too, you know?
If you are interested in doing an UnNews audio, check this out.
At present, I create UnCartoons for UnNews all by my onesies, for better or worse. Now, I will never claim that I am a good cartoonist. Fortunately, the internet provides us a way to do all sorts of things simply and easily. I found Stripgenerator.com, a great site to create cartoons with a minimum of talent.
- This document is an ongoing effort by me to enhance the obfuscation coefficient of Uncyclopedia; productive changes, and criticism are welcome. Cheers! The Right and Left Reverend Major Sir
Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 17:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)