User:Zana Dark/Superman
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| Release Date | Summer, 2009 |
|---|---|
| Genre | Family |
| Starring | Robert Downey Jr. |
| Featuring | Whitney Houston |
| Director | Doug Liman |
| Producer | Courtney Love |
| Budget | 200 Pounds |
Harry Pothead and the Sorcerer's Stoned is the newest film in the popular Harry Pothead series, based on a book series of the same name, starring Robert Downey Jr..
It's the time to revisit the early 80's... Apple II's are the most groovin' thing to hit elementary schools since the lunch box \\ thermos combination. Nearly every school in the country had at least a few Apple II compatible computers, maybe even one in every classroom! Of course, educators weren't about to let kids pass the time by playing Choplifter or Snake on these modern machines, so they bought (of all things) educational software. The quality of this software ranged from "programmed in two minutes and only teaches kids that eating snow is more entertaining than computer games" to "not so horriblby bad."
Only a few of these first geek games really stood out as being popular, and most of them were Choose-Your-Own-Adventure style (I know, I'm leaving out Carmen Sandiego). The two most popular early computer games would have probably been Math Munchers and (of course) Oregon Trail.
Game description[edit | edit source]
Try taking a journey by covered wagon across 2000 miles of plains, rivers, and mountains. You Just Try! On the plains, you will slosh your oxen through mud and water-filled ruts as you plod through dust six inches deep!!! How do you think you will you cross the rivers? If you have money, you might take a ferry (if there is a ferry). Or, you can wade the river and hope you and your wagon aren't swallowed alive! Good luck!!!
What about supplies? Well, if you're low on food you can hunt. You might get a buffalo... you might. And there are bears in the mountains. Are you afraid? At the Dalles, you can try navigating the Columbia River, but if running the rapids with a makeshift raft makes you queasy, better take the Barlow Road. If for some reason you don't survive -- your wagon burns, or thieves steal your oxen, or you run out of provisions, or you die of cholera -- don't give up! Try again... and again... until your name is up with the others on The Oregon Trail Top Ten.
Educational Value[edit | edit source]
| “ | The best thing about Oregon Trail is that it doesn't shove educational crap down your throat. Because learning sucks, dude!!!!!! | ” |
Let's go through a typical game of Oregon Trail, shall we? Let's see… first thing we have to do is name the people in the game. Heh heh… Let's name the leader Poop! Heh heh. Who else… how about Pee, Booger, Snot, and Stinky! Themn choose who you want to be: a farmer, a carpenter, or a banker. Hmmm… the banker has the most money, and that's good because we can buy lots of ammo at the store! Oh, and better buy some other crap too… food, oxen, clothing, spare parts… duh.
There's other things to do on the good 'ol trail besides hunt. You can talk to people, mocking their funny accents while getting trade tips, bargain with people, look at pretty pictures, and listen to some gangsta hip-hop music. It's so awesome when people get diseases too…
Beating the Game[edit | edit source]
Eventually, after traveling down the trail for a long, long time… you'll get to the second best part! Whitewater rafting down a river in your wagon! Yee-haw! Avoid the rocks or you'll die and place an underwater tombstone! After that, you win! You get your points added up (based on what character you chose and what you had left), and then see if you're good enough to get on the Oregon Trail Top Ten! Lucky you! Wow, you were pretty lame as a kid, not that you've changed, or anything...
If you don't remember playing Oregon Trail as a kid, you'll probably not be too interested in recapturing all the excitement of this article and the Western Expansion and such… but can you name another game where you can die of the poops? Consider yourself PWNT!