User:Xanderkellyshow

|M|u|s|i|c|
    my anti-drug

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OMG! Xander looks so like an Emo MySpace kid here! He has, like, the camera reflected in the mirror and everything.

Xanderkellyshow, alias Teh Gitarust! or Greg Teh Banjo, is a very, very, very obscure member of the internet's most reliable and accurate source of information, Uncyclopedia. He name is derived from the fictional talk show hosted by Dennis Miller's character in Dirty Joe, a 1980s pornographic movie. (OMG! A Semi-Fact on Uncyclopedia???? Fuck! The sky is gonna fall!!)

Xander is known for his love of metal and hardcore music, and is an outcast as a result. Consequently, he probably shouldn't have just told the entire Uncyclopedia community that. People are going to open up a can of worms on the discussion page. Shit.

Hobbies

Guitarist

This user is a guitarist. Please donate to the above fund so they can afford something better than a B.C. Rich. (and/or a pixelated image of a guitar). You'll be doing the music community a favor!

Xander rocks out with his considerably large cock out (not shown here).

Xander's hobbies include, but are not limited to, the following:

• Playing guitar.
• Hacking Wikipedia pages
• Beating his rather large meat. As of Summer 2007 this is beginning to come to an end.
• Spending too much time on the internet.
• Not looking for work.

What Hath He Created? Probably The Worst Pages At Uncyclopedia, Fo Sho!

Wanna know what he shouldn't have done to Uncyclopedia? Well, here goes.

Shit He's Responsible For

The dumb asshole is responsible for bringing forth the following few pages that has made Uncyclopedia generally horrible, accidentally intent on tanking Uncyclopedia's authoritarian status:

• Buickman: Dealing with the now defunct Buick super dealer.
• Tuscan Whole Milk: Dealing with the best damn milk ever. Don't argue bitch!
• Wino Crossings: A generally unloved page concerning the Wino Crossings signs found in random locations.
• Johnnie Walker: Give Mr. Walker some damn love folks!
• Norma Jean (band): Because he hates those motherfuckers.
• Toyota Prius: Deals with the single most evil car of all time. Please, stop buying them. It's just a PR Scheme from Toyota. Really.

Shit He Deserves A Lot Of Credit For

• The 'Beetus: Used to be a very ugly page. Then he cleaned it up. The original author can deal with it and not write such a shitty article next time.
• Wilford Brimley: Some made an "almost there" article disgusting. He helped to whip it back into shape.

Special Features

He has currently made several edits to several pages, those pages most likely written by crack-addicted babies. He is noted for his appearance here and probably nothing else (he is that much of a loser).

Notes About This Author (Okay. They're Actually Userboxes. But Just Keep That Between You And Me)

en-N This user is a native speaker of English. en-N	This user is right-handed. In Latin, they would be Dexter.	This user plays guitar, because it attracts more groupies, and gets more solos than the bass.
This user is American …and unabashedly proud of it! (List of American Uncyclopedians)	This user has been approved by Mr Rubber Ducky, have you?	This user is POOR, has never passed GO, and never collected $200.
No user serviceable parts inside.	This user wants [[{{{1}}}]] featured.	RENT This space for rent. Lube available. Call 1-800-666-6666. RENT
This user's head A SPLODE.	[insert content here] This user couldn't find any userboxes they actually liked. [insert content here]	This user is getting down with the sickness.
[ insert content here ] This userbox is a filler, and therefore looks ugly. [ insert content here ]	RENT This space for rent. Lube available. Call 1-800-666-6666. RENT	This user believes the Mozilla Firefox could easily defeat Godzilla.
This user uses Windows because they can't get enough of your lover.	BS This userpage is bullshit. BS	This user seriously needs to calm down.

The Fine Fucking Print For This User Page

(you don't have to)

Parts of this page have probably been ripped from other pages. A fucking shame, ain't it? Well, you shouldn't have tempted this user to want to steal shit from your page. God's honest truth. The user at this page does feel some amount of guilt, but, in the end, this is the internet and he really couldn't care less. God's honest truth. So just sit back, relax, and have some respect not to blank his page, but feel free to jack any of the shit you see here. Fair is fair. God's honest truth. Why does he say God's honest truth? Is it because his words are Holy? Fuck nooooo! Are you crazy? He's fuckin' nuts (not nuckin' futs -- "nucking" and "futs" are not words, please use real English, motherfucker, or I'll pop a motherfuckin' cap in your motherfuckin' ass). So sing with him. Sing for the year. Sing for the love. Sing for the tears. Sing with him, if it's just for today. Maybe tomorrow he'll cut it off and take you away. It has been proven that this user listens to Heaven Shall Burn. Don't like them? Then fuck you. You have a horrible taste in music, Emo kid. So go somewhere and listen to that Fall Out Boy CD and slit your scrawny wrists. Bitch tits scare me. They do. Why would a dude want to have tits? It makes no sense. The fun of tits is playing with ones that do not belong to you! Common sense here, people. Does anyone here listen to Tool? I do. Maybe it's because I'm a fucking loser. There is no spoon. This is a fact and probably shouldn't be here at Uncyclopedia. Everything you have seen here and the pages you have read are Copyright 2006 - 2007, Xanderkellyshow Publishing, All Rights Reserved, especially in the "state" of California and Texas (Mexas?). These rights are reserved. But you read that already didn't you? Didn't you? DIDN'T YOU? That's right, bitch. You did. Better respect, motherfucker.

Guitarist Fucking Goddamn Insane

This user is a guitarist technically insane. Please donate to the above fund so they can afford something better than a B.C. Rich enter Charter Ridge. You'll be doing the music the world a favor!

This is a vanity page

This page is a shameless example of egotism and is completely worthless. The author is pretty darn hot, though. You have to admit that.

Guitarist Drunk

This user is a guitarist probably drunk. Please donate to the above fund so they can afford something better than a B.C. Rich enter rehab. You'll be doing the music your community a favor!