User:Xamralco/Politically Correct Chess
Chess appears to be a very innocent game. However, this classic board game has been accused of being riddled with racial and religious stereotypes, as well as being discriminatory towards gays, dwarves, and other minority groups. Thus, new forms of chess that are considered more politically correct have been created and are beginning to replace the original version.
Changes in the pieces[edit | edit source]
Politically correct chess started when several LBGT groups claimed that the classic king and queen pairing in the game was derogatory towards homosexuals. In response, many chess manufacturers began producing sets with two kings instead of a king and queen. In this new version, the goal of the game was to capture the top, and the bottom moved around the board in the same manner that the queen formally had. Gays rejoiced and other changes were made to the pieces, making the game more and more politically correct. After the introduction of "two king chess," a member of the Black Panther proclaimed during a meeting that since white moves first in chess, the black side was given a disadvantage, which was undeniably racist. Furthermore, Asians were not even represented since their were no yellow pieces. All chess pieces were then colored blue to avoid further problems. This caused some people to argue that the new chess sets suggested that Na'vi were superior to humans. The pieces were then changed to green.
Another concern revolved around the traditional cross on top of the king and the fact that one of the pieces was called a bishop. Some claimed that if only Catholics were represented in the game, than it suggested that Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, and Hindus were inferior to Christians. It was later decided to replace the cross on the king with either a Star of David or whatever that Muslim moon thingy is called, depending on the players' preferences. Also, the bishop was changed to a rabbi by simply adding a yamaka or some other Jewish thing. Immediately after these changes were made, midgets began complaining because the pawn, the shortest piece in all of chess, was the least powerful. However, no one gives a fuck about midgets.