User:ThecoolxavierguyfromghIII
"This user page makes your user page feel good about itself...or...wait"
- ~Oscar Wilde on user pages
"CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
- ~Shabidoo on a proper user page
Warning: This page may cause the following symptoms:
Dullness, depression, suicidal thoughts or actions, nausea, boredom, severe bronchi infection, ear cancer, and others, I think. Maybe.
You can see my rough drafts below. Feel free to comment on the talk page. I'm also working on reviving Fox News with ShabiDoo
Whacha working on, crackuh? I'll show you, crackuh buddy-oh-pal! Thanks a doodily doo, pal. We'll be crackuh buddies forever! Wanna play Apples to Apples? You bet I do, my one of a kind bosom buddy chum! Gee thanks pal! No, thank you my Chap!
Post No Apocalypse[edit | edit source]
“Oh, Shit”
“Oh, Shit”
- December 22nd, 2012, is an inevitable date that will come upon the universe one day after the winter solstice. The date has gained significant notability for its proximity to Christmas as well as New Year's. Many will also note that this is one day after the winter solstice, which, in Greco-Roman mythology, is the second day (the other being the summer solstice), that the great Gods, Zeus, Poseidon, Athena, Apollo, Etc., would meet for a great discussion for these were the only days which Hades could ascend to Mount Olympus from the underworld to negotiate and debate with the other Gods. December 22nd is the birthday of Steve Garvey, a former professional baseball player for the Los Angeles Dodgers. It is less commonly referred to as the day after the end of the world, but as we all know, that was just crazy talk.
Yes, it really didn't happen![edit | edit source]
- For all of you still living in the past, here's the lowdown. Nothing happened on December 21st, 2012. A volcano erupted in Iceland. China issued another shipment of lead paint. Canada's population was increasing tenfold after the election of Michelle Bachman. Everything went according to plan. What, what is that face you are making? That is a face of disappointment. What the hell could you possibly be disappointed about? Were you hoping for mass death? That would classify you as a terrorist. Why are you disappointed? You couldn't possibly have believed that the end of the world was actually coming. You couldn't have. The Mayans merely were counting b'ak'tuns, and 13 of these b'ak'tuns (periods of 144,000 days) added up to December 21st, 2012. There. Ha! No comeback!
Eyewitness Reports[edit | edit source]
- Well, evwywon wuz tellin mi thet da worled wuz gonna exploder en uh biiiiiiiiiiiig flesh, n thet mitiors wre gonna fall fwom da ski, urthqwaks wre gonna heppan, and we wer all gonna dye. Butt thin nuddin happen and i suy 'what!' I iz alives!!!
- ~Andrew, age 6
- Upon the skepticism during the fortnights preceding the date in question, I took particular interest in the events of the creation of the Mesoamerican Long Calendar, counting the ak'tuns into b'aktuns and creating a specific estimation towards the approach the Mayans took, and I have concluded that this day was merely supposed to be a jubilation, a holiday celebrating death, considering the Mayans were a colony obsessed with death; I was therefore not surprised to see life continue in this world.
- ~Proffesor Vincent Crychevsky, PHD in Latin American history, age 78
The Quadruple Extra-Special Super Dunk Fudgesicle Cake[edit | edit source]
The Quadruple Extra-Special Super Dunk Fudgesicle Cake. So tasty you slobber at the first whiff, so beautiful you could orgasm to it. It really is the most versatile dessert ever invented by man. Some say that the Quadruple Etra-Special Super Dunk Fudgesicle Cake was given to humanity by God, as a new convenant between them.