User:Superbo/skeletor
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“I can see that this is going like the sephiroth thing.....”
“No fashion sense at all.”
Skeletor (Aka Skelly E. Torsmith)
Skeletor is a demon from another dimension . . . no, minion of Hordak . . . no, wait, now he's Keldor . . . um . . . I don't know WTF he is. He's just Skeletor, ok? Buy the toy.
Skeletor graduated from The Hogwarts Academy of Magic with a major in "Evil cackling". He later took up residence on the Planet Etonia in a place called Snake Mountain. "It's not great, but it's rent controlled." quoted the self proclaimed Master of Evil.
In the mid 80's, Skeletor became a prominent fashion designer for the planet, influencing almost everyone to wear two crossing straps, fuzzy woolen briefs and fuzzy boots to match. This was of course, not completely his idea, but was a collaboration with Beast Man (AKA Liz Taylor).
Skeletor also had a recurring role as a wacky next door neighbor in the short-lived early 80's sitcom, She-Man and the Bastards of the Universe. Although Skeletor was sure that this would be his ticket to stardom and fame, the Prince Adam of Eternia canned the series as he felt it was portraying transgender super-heroes in a bad light.
Back in the 60s (the 1460s), Skeletor was also famous for being Betty Crocker's lesbian lover.
In the early 90's Skeletor decided his work on Eternia was done, so he changed his voice, his costume and his animation team and headed for outer space. The Emperor Palpatine quickly saw Skeletor's worth, recruited and renamed him Darth Vader. The rest is history.
Skeletor tried dating another member of "his kind" for awhile, Ossia, but they were forced to break up because of the annoying hollow bonking sound that their skulls would make every time he tried to make out with her.
WTF[edit | edit source]
People always want to know what happened to skeletor's face. What's up with that? What happened to your face? Oh, that is your face? Hahahhahaha . . . . sorry.
Anyway, everybody knows skulls=awesome, so there.
Relationship with Beast-Man[edit | edit source]
Much like Britney and Madonna, Skeletor and Beastman got a lot of attention when they released a controverisal rap single and video, where they appeared to be coming on to each other, but most commentators believe that this was merely a pathetic attempt to boost a flagging career. Indeed, Skeletor's record sales have simply not been what they used to be, and it is sort of sad to see a once mighty pillar of pop music reduced to asking his bassist to "open up his ass like a keg."
Dislike of He-Man[edit | edit source]
Skeletor dislikes He-Man because He-Man always gets in Skeletor's way of getting the ultimate power that is in Castle Greyscale, which is believed to actaually be a Playstation Portable with a modchip that lets it play the alternative Teriyaki Yoko level in Um Jammer Lammy, which takes place in Hell. Skeletor resents that while punitive measures are leveled against his idiotic quest, such as He-Man, Ram-Man, many other people with the word 'Man' as part of their name, etc, nobody is attempting to address the root causes of his evil. Where is a blue brotha with no face supposed to find a job? K-Mart? I don't think so. Telemarketing? "hello this is skeletor and I'd like to know if you're interested in changing your long distance service" yeah right.
Without the skeletor system in place pretty boy He-Man would have no reason to exist anyway. He-Man therefore owes skeletor big time, so there.
Skeletor's best day ever[edit | edit source]
One day, Skeletor woke up with a big grin on his face . . . . wait, that's every day. Anyway, he said "Let's take a day off and go shopping at the mall" to all his minions. They said ok, except Evil-Lyn, because malls are against her religion, which is shoxianism.
So they all went to the mall until they realized they didn't have any money so they had to get jobs washing dishes. But it was still Skeletor's best day ever, because he didn't even get defeated by He-Man, and he made seven bucks.
Quote from "She-Man and the Bastards of the Universe"[edit | edit source]
Adym:I am Adym, **BLEEP** of Eternia and keeper of the secrets of Castle **BLEEP**skull. This is Cryngyr... my fearless **BLEEP**. Fabulous secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic **BLEEP** and said... By the power of **BLEEP** **BLEEP** **BLEEP**!! I have the **BLEEP**!! She-Man: Only a few others share this secret... The Sorceress, Man-At-Arms and Orko. Together we defend Castle **BLEEP**skull from the evil **BLEEP** of Skeletor.
Episodes[edit | edit source]
He-Man and the Party at Orko's
First episode. He-man meets Skeletor, and they both go to Orko's party. Once there, they enjoy themselves until He-Man accidently breaks a small vase. Skeletor swears revenge and so the saga begins.
Quotes:
HeMan:Skeletor, where are you?
Skeletor:I'm right here!
HeMan:Oh rats I broke this vase. Sorry Orko.
Orko:It's ok.
Skeletor:Oh no . . . that beautiful vase . . . oh the vase-anity.
Episode HJD&^e8987e The Power of Temp-Tor
Everything goes wrong when Eternia is invaded by Temp-Tor, an evil being who hypnotises its victims with a hallucination of the object of their greatest desire.
Quote:
<Skeletor>You mean I can really have a nose and eyeballs???
Episode 666 That one with the giant squid . . . thing
Skeletor summons a monster he can't control. Once again he has to team up with He-Man to stop the menace. Features a young Ricki Martin as the voice of Skull Boy, Skeletor's wacky little sidekick.
Christmas Special[edit | edit source]
The She-Man Christmas Special is reviled by many She-Man fans for Skeletor being portrayed wildly out of character, consisting of his drinking a Shasta when everyone knows that the evil lord of Snake Mountain prefers a cool, refreshing Fresca on the rare occasions when his undead zombie body requires hydration. While he cannot taste the beverage, he likes the can design. It reminds him of the fjords.
That time skeletor hacked man at arms' home page[edit | edit source]
before[edit | edit source]
Hi, I'm Man at Arms, but my friends call me Duncan. Welcome to my web page! There's not much here yet, but check back soon for more info! You can e-mail me at man@arms.com
after[edit | edit source]
Look out for the iguana men I have, and am going to send to get you soon.
I'm the greatest!
Skeletor
Skeletor Finally Finds a Way to Beat He-Man[edit | edit source]
<Skeletor>uncyclopedia.co
<Skeletor>He-Man
<Sophia>we don't have an article by the name He-Man. Would you like to create one?
<Skeletor>Yes.
<Sophia>Ok.
<Skeletor>(editing)
LINK TO SOME RANDOM WEBCOMIC
(save)
(some time passes)
<Admin>What is this crap?
FFFFLLLUUUUSSSSHHH (sound of article being deleted)
(The next day:)
<Skeletor>uncyclopedia.co
<Skeletor>He-Man
<Sophia>we don't have an article by the name He-Man. Would you like to create one?
<Skeletor>Yes.
<Sophia>Ok.
<Skeletor>(editing)
LINK TO SOME RANDOM WEBCOMIC
(save)
(some time passes)
<Admin>Not this guy again?
FFFFLLLUUUUSSSSHHH (sound of article being deleted)
(repeat 50 times)
<Admin>He-Man +CVP
<HeMan>Oh rats.
<Skeletor>I am victorious!!!! THE POWER OF UNCYCLOPEDIA SHALL BE MINE!!!!!!
[edit | edit source]
Potatoes.
Boobies.