User:Sockpuppet of an unregistered user/ARISTOCRATS

The ARISTOCRATS as they envision themselves holding the global sphere in their grasp

Associates of the Revolutionary Intergovernmental Society for Total Oppression and the Creation of a Radically Authoritarian and Totalitarian State, or ARISTOCRATS for short, is a secret society that supports total oppression and wishes to establish a radically authoritarian and totalitarian state, as one might have guessed. This organization is responsible for a variety of atrocities, which will be mentioned later on in the article. The secrets of this organization were almost revealed to the whole world when a traitor to their goals hacked the ARISTOCRATS database and contacted the FBI. The following events were constructed using various secret computer servers^{[the less you know, the better]}...

FBI: So what's all this data you sent us?

Hacker: It reveals all the secrets of the biggest secret society you have never heard of.

FBI: Cool. So what have these guys been doing all this time?

Hacker: Well, they did the whole global warming scam.

FBI: Yeah, obviously. Is that all?

Hacker: Oh no. They also did 9/11.

FBI: Right. Anything else?

Hacker: They're also responsible for most of the wars that occurred last century.

FBI: And...

Hacker: They also invented homosexuality, lesbianism, bestiality, coprophilia, urolagnia, incest... Do I need to go on?

FBI: Holy shit! How do these motherfuckers call themselves?

Hacker: The ARISTOCRATS.

The FBI headquarters suddenly explodes

Hacker: What the fuck just happened?

Some random guy with a flamethrower walks in and burns the hacker dude to shreds

The camera zooms out to reveal a mysterious figure watching the events on a number of screens

Mysterious figure: The ARISTOCRATS indeed.

The mysterious figure starts laughing maniacally

Mysterious figure: MUAHAHAHAHA!

THE END ^{O RLY? Yes, really. But what if END is just another acronym? *explodes*}