User:Professor Fate/The Godfather

"The best movie I ever made... even better than ThE Pornhaus and Adventures of Caa-caa in Space! -Oscar Wilde

"This is a famous movie." -Captain Obvious

"This film made me want to spank myself and call my popcorn "Googie". I loved it!" -Gene Siskel

"Gene Siskel is a fucking shiitake mushroom." -Roger Ebert

The Godfather is a move written, directed and produced by Oscar Wilde. It features an all-star cast of Johnny Depp, Bill Murray, Nathan Lane, Sylvester Stallone, Abe Lincoln and Satan, with Danny Kaye and Jason Alexander in the starring roles. Depp won an Oscar for his performance and Alexander won the entire city of Manhattan for his role. Detailing the life of German mafia boss Oskar Schindler and his involvement in what later became known as D-Day, it is generally regarded as the greatest non-pornographic movie made by someone other than Kevin Smith.

Plot Summary

Bang bang! You're dead.

Johnny Depp is ultimately convincing in his most famous role as a New England crack whore, wouldn't you say?

Characters

• Oskar Schindler (Danny Kaye:

• Lord Lobsterman (Jason Alexander):

• Darth Hitler (Bill Murray):

• Gwyneth Paltrow (Sylvester Stallone):

• George Washington (Abe Lincoln)

• A Crack Whore (Johnny Depp):

• The Lone Ranger(Nathan Lane):

• Satan (Himself):

Critical Reception

Cannoli pescadoro: One bite before bedtime and you'll sleep with the fishes

At the time of The Godfather's release, serious criticism was hard to come by, as most film critics were content to just repeat every WOP joke they had ever heard. "What is the sound of a sack of shit hitting the wall?" asked Rex Reed. Recently, however, the neo-culinary school of film critcism has revived interest in the movie, as witnessed by Rachael Ray's scathing review in Edible Cinema of Clemenza's pasta sauce recipe. In a Critique du Jour piece called "Take It or Leave It", Emeril Lagasse describes how to make a cannoli shaped like a gun. "I serve it to Italians," he writes, "and believe me, it really confuses them."

List of people who died making this film

Jesus

Mohammud

Buddha

974 Guinea pigs

Tony Montana

10,000 Uruk-hai

The German 6th Army

Tom Cruise

Tropicana Orange Juice

The Red Ranger

and a Stripper on a congressman's cock