User:Optimuschris/UnNews

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23 January 2010

Pictures of cat orgies will be allowed as well.

In a move that stunned the online community, the trusted news and information website Uncyclopedia announced today that it is going to start encouraging its contributors to be more "edgy". Uncyclopedia has long been known for it's conservative views, but the administrators claim that this stance has cost them subscribers. "It's hard to compete with Conservapedia when we restrict ourselves this way" said one editor. "If they don't worry about offending people, then why should we?" There has been no formal policy change as yet, but sources say that words such as "poopy" and "dodo head" will now be okay to use in articles. This change comes in the midst of an ongoing controversy involving an editor who was banned for uploading a picture of a kitten that appeared to be licking itself. "It was horrifying!" exclaimed editor Harry Paratestees. "We certainly don't want to be seen as advocating bestiality".

Not all editors are happy with this change however. Longtime contributor Ben Derover states "If I wanted to expose myself to this sort of potentially offensive material, I would just read". Other editors share this sentiment. "Won't somebody think of the children?" asked editor Justin Dapooper. It is uncertain how this change will affect Uncyclopedia's member base in the long run, but it is this reporter's opinion that it won't make any difference as Uncyclopedians are a bunch of faggot nigger jews.

In related news, an image recently featured on the front page was removed after Administrators received numerous complaints stating it was offensive to sausages.