User:Nikau/Stormfront
A stormfront is a meteorological formation that produces snow, hail and other beautiful reminders or white purity. The system is characterized by the presence of a rotating mesocyclone over minority neighborhoods, however dedicated researchers will never admit that because the word mesocyclone sounds a little too Mexican.
Of all the classifications of thunderstorms, the stormfront is the potentially the most dangerous due to its isolation, harassing winds, and lightning that ignites crosses erected in front of select residences. However, despite making a lot of sound and fury, the vast majority of stormfronts leave barely a mark on the countryside; a mark that may be familiar to those fond of 1930s German symbolism.
History[edit | edit source]
The earliest known account of a stormfront was the Biblical flood; the event is regarded as a stormfront because Noah made sure not to race mix the animals as he loaded them on the ark two-by-two, and also because the flood annihilated a cornucopia of people with funny names and strange customs.
Researches posit the plagues of Egypt may also have been part of a large stormfront, due to their genocidal nature and the arrival of countless smug frogs. This would gel with the Black Egyptian Hypothesis, an often disputed theory which postulates that the most notable royal figures from Ancient Egypt were of African ethnicity, including Tutankhamen, Cleopatra and the model for the Sphinx, a man-faced-dog. The implication that every first born son in a black community could be killed by a higher power for absolutely no reason at all is best left alone.
Descriptions of suspected stormfronts are not limited to Judaeo-Christian culture.
“O ye who believe Remember Allah's favor unto you when there came against you hosts, and we sent against them a great wind and hosts ye could not see.”
cultures other than white Christians could have benefited from senseless violence similar to a stormfront
According to several American evangelical preachers, every rainy day since the 1960s has been a stormfront attempting to wipe out the Sodomites. This is quite laughable, as it would mean perpetually drizzly Britain must be overcome with some truly depraved... oh right.
Anatomy[edit | edit source]
Individual stormfronts are often put into three classification types: young and misguided, old and developmentally challenged, or some 3-letter acronym.
- Anticyclone: One of those jackboot socialists who can't handle a little meteorological patriotism
- Dew point: As in, pointing and saying the Dews did it
- Hail: Usually preceded by Seig...
- Indian summer: Proof foreigners are even taking our seasons
- Kelvin-Helmholtz Instability: German instability is the best kind of instability
- Rainbow: I swear I didn't see any rainbow because that would be g... honest, I'm n-not... er...
