User:Newyinzer/msg
Crappy Jokes[edit | edit source]
Banana.
Banana who?
Your banana is small.
Knock knock.
Who's There?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't talk about how small you banana is!
Yuri[edit | edit source]
The old page on Yuri!
“A good morning of Yuri is a great way to start any man's day.”
Yuri is a word that represents many things including: girl on girl hentai, cosmonauts and other such science things and finally people (usually from Russia) have been named Yuri.
1. Girl on Girl Hentai - Yuri =[edit | edit source]
Yuri is the |337357 thing ever. Everyone loves it.
Yuri, more commonly known as girl on girl hentai, is the fickle imagination of horny asian men who have nothing better to do then to watch imaginary girls "git-r-done." The concept was originally created by Santa Claus as an idea for rewarding good little asians who do not follow Cristianity.
Many of such films include, but are not limited to: girls, moms, friends, or anything relating to such topics jumbled together into a massive orgy. Most of the sound effects are off, normally leading to the idea that goats and pigs are used in the sound editing department.
When the idea was first brought to America during the Eight Crusade of the Batmobile, most fans of regular lesbain porn discredited the idea as a fickle dream. Fortunatly, the mass of immigrants from various regions of Asia and Ireland gave it life, and soon the industry was established.
Unfortunately, after the industry was established, a large number of groups (Consisting mainly of menstrating moms and my third ex-girlfriend.) rose up because they wanted equal rights and attention. So they did what all cranky women generally do, they opted to make a petition on petitiononline.com. Soon even more cranky hags joined them on their unholy quest.
When the all the hags actually started taking real action, the Vikings began to hear of this pointless endeavour. And they believed in the right to jack off to whatever you wanted to with the except of feet fetishes. Unfortunately for them, most of the vikings were still fighting the war of the Vikings and ninjas. So the few remaining called upon their greater counterpart, the Space Vikings. Once the Space Vikings decended upon the earth on their Spacebikes, they found out that the vikings had no idea where they were. After about three minutes of searching on Yahoo Maps, their search led them to Soviet Russia. Or rather, Soviet Russia led them to their search. And so they clashed, and the Great Yuri War began.
The fighting went on and on for three years. But the cranky hags kept making more cranky hags, and victory was soon to slip out of the Space Viking's grasp. When all hope seemed lost, Barbarians came! Hundreds of them! They all used Great Rage, giving them +1d6 to their Strength and Constitution. Just when the tides had begun to turn, my third ex-girlfriend utilized the only two abilities in her arsenal. Her Wee-a-boo powers allowed her to weild a katana without any prior training, and her height (4'7") made her an extremely small target. She started hacking away at the legs and feet of Barbarians and Space Vikings alike. She continued on this rampage until she tripped over a curb of a sidewalk and knocked herself out.
The few Barbarians and Vikings left now had a fighting chance. And they did what they did best. Pillaged. After days of constant slaughter, the army of hags began to menstrate, making them much more vicious in battle and twice as bitchy. Like, to the point where the Space Vikings and Barbarians couldn't take it anymore. Seriously, their heads exploded. And those were the lucky ones. With the 30 or so troops they had left, the Space Vikings and Barbarians marched onward. When then, a miricle happened. All the hags left reached their depressional stage of menstration. The 30 troops took avantage of this. They infiltrated the camps and outposts of the Hags and began their slaughter.
The menstration was only supposed to last a few hours, but it ended up lasted a few days. And by that time the Vikings had won. To this day their names are forgotten. But great men they were.
Today, after the incredible war, yuri has a healthy part of the U.S. Goverment and is protected by the laws of freedom of jerking off to whatever you want. It is part of the Cabinet of Ireland and is a member of the U.N. under the terms of the Bill Gates clause of 2099.
Many times has it been argued as to what pair of girls are best or what would be the best pair. Even more times as to how the fuck one is able to make out with themselves or eat themselves out without actually doing it themselves. But most people were too busy utilizing it by actually jacking off to it, rather than bitching about it. This could be why none of these arguements were successful.
Other Yuri includes, but is not limited to: Furries, Cartoons, Fucked up Webcomics, and Lesbian chat rooms.
2. Cosmonauts - Yuri[edit | edit source]
- Yuri Alexeyevich Gagarin- On April 12, 1961 the first earthling escaped the gravity well of planet earth. In the spaceship Vostok 1, Senior Lieutenant Yuri Alexeyevich Gagarin orbited earth one time at an altitude of 187 3/4 miles (302 kilometers) for 108 minutes at 18,000 miles an hour. He was the first man to see that the earth was indeed round, indeed mostly water, and indeed magnificent.
- Yuri Pavlovich Gidzenko- After 1996 squabble over who would command the Expedition 1 crew, Gidzenko replaced a Russian cosmonaut who refused to fly under American Commander William Shepherd. Flexibility: “I didn’t see any difference [whether an American or a Russian was the commander]. When I was a Mir space station crew member, I was the commander. I can give or take orders. It is not difficult to be with Shep.” Risky business: “I don’t consider my job dangerous. There are a lot more dangerous professions on the ground . . . like being a truck driver.”
- Yuri Ivanovich Malenchenko- He was the Commander of the back-up crew for Mir 15. From July 1 to November 4, 1994, he served as Commander of Mir 16 with Musabayev, Polyakov, Kondakova, Victorenko, and Ulf Merbold. During this flight , he controlled the first manual docking of Progress. From September 8-20, 2000, served on the crew of STS-106 preparing the International Space Station for the arrival of the first permanent crew. The five astronauts and two cosmonauts delivered more than 6,600 pounds of supplies and installed batteries, power converters, a toilet and a treadmill on the Space Station. Yuri Malenchenko and Ed Lu performed a 6 hour and 14 minute space walk in order to connect power, data and communications cables to the newly arrived Zvezda Service Module and the Space Station. In completing his third space flight, Yuri Malenchenko has logged over 321 days in space, including 3 EVA’s totaling over 18 hours.
- Yuri Valentinovich Lonchakov- STS-100 Endeavour (April 19 to May 1, 2001) was the 9th mission to the International Space Station during which the crew successfully delivered and installed the Canadarm2 Robotic Arm supplied by the Canadian Space Agency. They also delivered more than 6,000 pounds of supplies and equipment from the Italian-built Raffaello Multi-Purpose Logistics Module. In completing his first space flight, Lonchakov traveled 4.9 million miles in 186 Earth orbits, logging 283 hours and 30 minutes in space.
- Yuri Ivanovich Onufrienko- From February 21 to September 2, 1996, he served as Commander on Mir-21. One month later, he and Yuri Usachev were joined by NASA's Shannon Lucid. During Mir-21 he performed numerous research experiments, an participated in six EVAs. He and Yuri Usachev were joined by French cosmonaut Claudie Andre-Deshays after the departure of Shannon Lucid. Altogether, he has logged 193 days in space.
- Yuri Viktorovich Romanenko- Graduated from Chernigov Higher Air Force School with a pilot-engineer's degree, 1966; graduated from Military Airforce Academy, Monino, 1981; Colonel, Soviet Air Forces; was selected as cosmonaut on 27.04.1970 (TsPK-5); was assigned as double for several Soyuz-flights; later Director Soviet Shuttle Program; retired 1995 to work for SAO “Stilteks”; hobbies: Underwater-fishing,building model-aircraft, painting, driving; he is the father of cosmonaut Roman Romanenko.
- Yuri Nikolayevich Stepanov- Graduated from Moscow Mechanical Institute with an engineering degree, 1960; graduated from Moscow Physical-engineering Institute, 1964; physics-engineer; he worked in several institutes and since 1971 at IMBP; was selected as cosmonaut on 02.09.1985 (IMBP-4); in 1995 he was transferred to the RAN-group of cosmonauts; retired in 1996.
3. Other Yuri's[edit | edit source]
- Yuri Ivanovich Onufrienko- Yuri was the lead singer of the band Chernobyl. Actually a robot built by noted whizz-kid Evelyn Waugh, he exploded along with his band members whilst performing in concert. His special robot-power was to shoot moonbeams out of his eyes, and was well known for his frequent copulating with whores, who all wanted a piece of his hydraulics."That Yuri, he really knows how to party, man! Hey, pass the crack, will you?" - Oscar Wilde
- Yuri Lane- Yuri Lane was born on a small island in Holland, but his parents, a painter and a violinist, soon moved to San Francisco's Haight-Ashbury district to ride the 70's counter-culture current. Raised in the Haight, Yuri learned rhythm by osmosis and quickly learned to incorporate urban rhythms into his daily life.
- Yuri Gurevich- Senior Researcher, Microsoft Research; Professor Emeritus, the University of Michigan.
- Yuri Matiyasevich- TBA
- Yuri Naumov- is well-established as Russia's greatest blues guitar player where he became a legend for his virtuosity.
- Traitor Yuri - a damned psychotherapeut. He betrayed OUR GLOROUS MOTHER RUSSIA and now has to DIE!
- Laughing Yuri AKA Yuri Verbesselt - an evil laughing belgian wimp that uses psychological warfare to make his victims insane, he drives his victims so crazy, they start shitting on his clothes. He laughes with everything (especially other people) and will try to make other people laugh with everything (especially other people) as well. He thinks he is good because he hates Bush, as he is as ignorant as the rest of the world, who offcourse hate Bush as well. Why he was named Yuri is unclear, it may have been a refference to the psychological warfare of Traitor Yuri, alldhow this Yuri has no superpowers at all, if you count constant laughing and constant looking stupid out.
- Yuri the Roomie - A very synical man with a deep-rooted hate for all things small and furry such as rats, pigs, taco's, and the american media. Find in many regions of the apartment, you can mostly find him in a corner crying over something in-trivial like which star-commander is the bestest or if cosmo and wanda really are fairy godparents. Mostly harmless if left alone, but aggrovated he will attack with a sharp wit that rivals noodles. Also enjoys long walks on the beach, teddybears and sometimes Stargate: SG1, he definitly isn't purple