User:Mercenarylord/Obama Report

Updates

• I've gotten a Pee Review done and am going to start fixing somethings. To see the Pee Review and my working, see my workspace.

Current Issue

The Obama Report (New)

By Merc Lord.

BAGHDAD, Iraq: American President Barack Obama arrived in Iraq during an unpublicized stop in his overseas visit. He spoke briefly with the President at a US air force base. He told the soldiers, American and Iraqi, and the Iraqi president that he wanted to “talk” with the “so-called terrorists.” He said that these were really misunderstood more strict religious people. He blamed “American arrogance” on the war.

One of his press secretaries was than shot with a flaming arrow with a note saying, “If we talk you shall die”. Obama then blamed the note on Rush Limbaugh and his “sad attempts for bigger ratings”.

WASHINGTON DC: In other news after the Jimmy Carter’s House of Wax received a 1 billion dollar bailout from the government on orders by Barack Obama, they made a life size replica of the First Lady. Critics’ claim that it is almost a perfect match, this reporter isn’t so sure.

I really don’t see it.

CHICAGO, Illinois; TAMPA BAY, Florida: Chia, the plant growing company recently made a plant that looks like Barack Obama. Walgreens pharmacy pulled it off the shelves for it being considered “racist by some” Yeah, It wasn’t racist when Mr. T had a Chia plant! Tut-tut-tut.

Mr. T. has a plant in his head, fool!

JUNEA, Alaska: Sarah Palin made a speech earlier today: “As a maverick (wink here) I must say that I disagree with Obama. Not because I’m a conservative and he’s a liberal. (wink here) Nor is it because we ran against each other in a vicious slander filled race. (wink here) But because he is a…non-maverick. (wink here) And we can’t have non-maverick running this country. (wink here) We have to have hockey moms! (wink here) Obama wants less missiles cause we have to bailout some our economy. (wink here) But what about us mavericks? (wink here) Mavericks need missiles to blow up stuff. (wink here) So I think…”

Governor Palin then fainted from exhaustion in her eye. Doctors say that she will survive, but may lose the sight in her right eye.

Workspace

Humour:	7	I got a few chuckles, but that was about it. The first section was probably the funniest.
Concept:	5	You don't actually seem to have much of a concept here. Your article sort of jumps all over the place. I think you should just pick a single subject for each article and try to develop it well.
Prose and formatting:	4	There were several punctuation issues, mainly when you put apostrophes in places where the shouldn't be (such as "critics'") and fail to put them where they should be (such as "cause"). You also had trouble with similarly spelled words, such as "then" and "than"
Images:	10	Good, good, definitely good enough for an UnNews article.
Miscellaneous:	6	Once again, you should just have a single, well-developed subject instead of multiple, underdeveloped subjects.
Final Score:	32	It was a good attempt, but you tried to do too much at once. If you try to do this again, stick to one, good story, and one, good theme for your jokes.
Reviewer:	Aethix ~ Talk|Contributions|My project  01:15, 13 April 2009 (UTC)

BAGHDAD, Iraq: American President Barack Obama arrived in Iraq during an unpublicized stop in his overseas visit. He spoke briefly with the President at a US air force base. He told the soldiers, American and Iraqi, and the Iraqi president that he wanted to “talk” with the “so-called terrorists.” He said that these were really misunderstood more strict religious people. He blamed “American arrogance” on the war.

One of Obama's telepromter workers was then shot with a flaming arrow. On the arrow was a letter saying "If we talk you will pay. From Your Worst nightmare!" Obama then tried to blame this on Conservitive talk radio and Rush Limbaugh in what he called a "pointless attempt to get better ratings."

Rush Limbaugh then told his audience that he wanted Obama to fail at house training his dog. He also decided that he wouldn't talk about Obama anymore on his show, he would talk about the other things in polotics like the "Palin family vs. Levi Johnson" Oooh. And, the "Obama's new dog...Oh wait, I can't talk about that...". After a few seconds he came up with another: "Obama and the pirates...no, no...I got it, New York City mayor Mike Bloomberg!" Limbaughs ratings have plummeted.

The Obama staff released a statement in response to Limbaughs comments: "Look who's failing now, Rush. Not Obama. Just you and the US Econmomy. Woo hoo!" This comment led to huge outrage in the conservitive media. Limbaugh would of had a response, producers say, but he was sticking to his vow and started talking about Kumar, of Harold and Kumar working at The White House with no mention of Obama.

Sean Hannity has attempted to hold up the conservitive mantle left by Rush Limbaugh only to be crushed by it's tremendous weight. Rush forgot to take his snacks with him so when Hannity picked up the mantle he was crushed by three blue whales, eight elephants, and two giant squids.

Obama held a press confrence this morning saying that he was sorry that these two conservitive giants were crushed. He then laughed and shouted that conservitive media was dead and socialism lived on.

WASHINGTON DC: In other news after the Jimmy Carter’s House of Wax received a 1 billion dollar bailout from the government on orders by Barack Obama, they made a life size replica of the First Lady. Critics claim that it is almost a perfect match, this reporter isn’t so sure.

I really don’t see it.

CHICAGO, Illinois; TAMPA BAY, Florida: Chia, the plant growing company recently made a plant that looks like Barack Obama. Walgreens pharmacy pulled it off the shelves for it being considered “racist by some” Yeah, It wasn’t racist when Mr. T had a Chia plant! Tut-tut-tut.

Mr. T. has a plant in his head, fool!

JUNEA, Alaska: Sarah Palin made a speech earlier today: “As a maverick (wink here) I must say that I disagree with Obama. Not because I’m a conservative and he’s a liberal. (wink here) Nor is it because we ran against each other in a vicious slander filled race. (wink here) But because he is a…non-maverick. (wink here) And we can’t have non-maverick running this country. (wink here) We have to have hockey moms! (wink here) Obama wants less missiles cause we have to bailout some our economy. (wink here) But what about us mavericks? (wink here) Mavericks need missiles to blow up stuff. (wink here) So I think…”

Governor Palin then fainted from exhaustion in her eye. Doctors say that she will survive, but may lose the sight in her right eye.