User:Kaizer the Bjorn/Sandbox

Stuff I Eventually Plan to work on

1. Camping
2. Competitive Swimming
3. Muslim Barbie (image)
4. Zombiemates.com (image)
5. Misusing Words for Fun and Prophet
6. Under a Rock (Out of touch blogger)
7. Ham on Rye with Provolone and a pickle and maybe some kettle chips on the side

Urg

Urg(30121 B.C. - 30149 B.C.) was a Cro-Magnon inventor of unknown origin who developed many devices that greatly influenced life and human evolution around the world, including the spear and fire. Dubbed "The Sun God" by an unknown cave painter, he was one of the first inventors ever.

Urg is considered one of the most influential inventors in history, making tools that would influence future inventions for many Millennia.

Early Life

Bro

On His Get-Up

Yeah brah, pretty sweet shirt huh? Pink brolo? Yeah pink is a pretty sweet color, it takes a real bro to wear pink, bro. Yeah bro, got it from Abercrombie, hell yeah, along with my leather flip-flops, my torn jeans, my visor. Yeah, I wear the visor upside down, tilted to the side. Pop the collar. The chicks dig this shit bro. Man I get so much pussy it isn't even funny.

On His Ride

Yeah check it out, I got a Ford F150, lifted chassis. It's so fuckin' big bro. Like my dick. Man it gets me so much pussy. Fuck no I'm not going off roading, I'd get fuckin' mud all over the body. I got the wheels because they're fuckin' huge broski. Hell yeah it's pretty sweet bro.

Hangin' Out, Bro

Yeah bro, we should totally hang out sometime, play some Xbox 360. I just got Halo 3 bro, that game fuckin' rocks. Hang out, have a couple beers.

That Party

Awww man brah, that party last night was pretty sweet. I'm so hung over right now. I got so wasted playin' beer pong all night. Man, I got on like, every chick at that party. It was pretty sweet bro, we need to have one again tonight. Someone needs to bring the keg bro, that'd be sweet.

Swimming

Swimming is a sport in which athletes, usually referred to as "Swimmers", swim. Often the swimming takes place in a large reservoir of water, either man made or natural. When swimming, the swimmers thrash their limbs wildly in such a way that causes an opposite force to push them in a certain direction.

Swimming Pools

Often, the sport of swimming takes place in a swimming pool. A swimming pool is a man made reservoir of water surrounded by a concrete wall.

UnNews:Local man sick and tired of bullshit

Peoria, IL - Josh Hamilton, a 26 year old accountant, claims to be "Sick and tired of all this bullshit". The affliction started a week ago, when Hamilton's promotion was instead given to Howard Shen, another accountant who had worked under Hamilton for the past year.

UnNews:I hate you Stephen Colbert

Colbert, Colbert, Colbert. All I hear about is this stupid idiot Stephen Colbert. I am so sick of this guy, I want to smash him in to little pieces. Well listen to this, Colbert, and listen well. I hate you Stephen Colbert. I hate you, hate you, hate you. Do you hear me Colbert? I said I hate you. I hate you, and your stupid show. Your stupid Daily Show. Daily Show, Colbert Report, whatever. I don't give a fat fuck what it's called. The point is I hate it. Also, I hate you too Stephen Colbert.

Clifford the Fucking Huge Red Dog

Clifford the Fucking Huge Red Dog is a series of children's books and a TV series based off of it. The original book was published in 1962 by Norman Bridwell.

Clifford was the smallest of his litter, and apart from his unnatural fur color - a bright, crimson red, like the blood of a thousand armies slain by his paw - he was a normal puppy. He was adopted by Emily Elizabeth Howard, his owner in the book, and taken home to her small New York apartment. Quickly on in the book, Clifford starts to grow at an unnatural rate, although it is a mystery to the reader why until the end of the book where the reader learns that it was love that made him grow so big. However, in "Clifford: The Other Side of the Series Which You Couldn't See Because Clifford was so Fucking Huge", Bridwell mentions that Clifford's abnormal rate of growth is due to a mutation (some would call it a gift from the gods of war), which caused him to have an abnormal amount of the growth hormone G-552-Hydroclorate. Bridwell did not mention this in the books because he decided that love was much more appealing to children, and because the publisher was seriously worried about the sales of the book.

Storyline

Once Emily Elizabeth notices that Clifford is growing much larger than he should, she decides that Clifford need a bigger home than just her small apartment. She and her parents move to Birdwell Island, named after, you guessed it, Rock Birdwell, the famous pro-wrestler. This turned out to be a good decision, as Clifford was soon so large that he could destroy furniture by wagging his tail, which was now the size of a queen sized bed. If he were allowed to grow for a few months more, his sheer weight would have caused the apartment building to collapse.

On Birdwell Island, the Howards are not well liked. The reason why is never mentioned in the books or in "Clifford: The Other Side of the Series Which You Couldn't See Because Clifford was so Fucking Huge", but it is speculated that it is because they have a fucking huge demon dog sleeping on their lawn every night. However, nobody bothers them, as Clifford could silence them with one strike from his gigantic paw. Clifford and the Howard's quickly gain the trust of the other residents of the island when Clifford preforms a series of good deeds, such as rescuing a kitten from a tree, helping firemen reach a fire, and smashing a meteor which was falling to earth between his jaws. In return for his kindness, the residents built him a doghouse, an act of kindness which caused the death of several old-growth forests. Through the magic of storytelling, they managed to keep it a secret and finish it in one day, despite the scale of of the project, which was on par with The Empire State Building. When Clifford found out, he lept with exitement, causing the 1906 San Francisco earthquake, and the Chicago fire. Yes, he's that huge.

The episodes following the first usually aim to teach children some life lesson, such as, "It is Important to Share", "Be considerate of others", and "Life is often a lot easier if you're really fucking huge".

Characters

• Clifford - A red dog of astronomical proportions. He is generally portrayed as gentle, even though he could cause destruction which would rival a hurricane in a matter of minutes.
• Emily-Elizabeth Howard - Clifford's owner, although he is clearly only her "pet" willingly, when it serves his needs. She sometimes rides on Clifford's back, comparative in scale to a flea on a regular sized dog.
• T-Bone - One of Clifford's dog friends, a small pug with a large appetite, although his servings are merely crumbs to Clifford's cavernous stomach.
• Cleo - An impish and hyperactive poodle. Her misdemeanor can often be irritating, but Clifford doesn't seem to mind, as she is not dead yet.
• Mr. Bleakman - The neighborhood grouch. He often complains about Clifford causing trouble. Often when Clifford wags his tail, the resulting gales blow over Mr. Bleakman's house. This happens, on average, about once every episode. Famous for coining the phrase "God-damn that fucking dog."
• The Mayor - The mayor of Birdwell Island. He is concerned about Clifford's impact on the island's small tourism buisiness.

UnNews:Uwe Boll Wins Nobel Fucking Prize

STOCKHOLM -