User:Jollybaron/War pigeon

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
A War pigeon from the worms games series.
The War Pigeon in action

“Oh no!”

~ Blue team worm on War Pigeon

The war pigeon is a weapon used in the worms series of games. The said weapon is fired once a target is selected and will fly to the target and explode. The United States of America Army attempted to create a real life working War Pigeon for use in Iraq and other conflict situations but failed (or so they say).

Failed American attempt to create the War Pigeon[edit | edit source]

A pigeon reading
A War Pigeon reads about the dangers of being used to test War Pigeon weapons.

In June 2008 Iraq was classed fith on the Failed states index, and so the United States of America goverment decided to try to create a whole new weapon that would revolutionise the battlefield, and therefore increasing the chance of saving Iraq. Work began immediately in July of the same year. The original idea was to stuff live Pigeons with a bag full of uncooked Rice. The bag would have a timer that would open up the bag when the timer falls to 0. The Pigeons did infact explode, but the Explosion was small and smelly. The developers then simpily decided to stuff the pigeons with high explosives. Another problem was that the pigeons could only fly back to home not towards the enemy. This was solved by making the Pigeons think a Redneck is their home. The Redneck would then be told that there was a nice dead rat in the enemy territory. The Pigeons would then be released and allowed to fly towards thier home. 300 Rednecks died in the development of the War Pigeon. When Barack Obama came to power in November 2008 he apparently shut down the development, but there has been many eye witness accounts of Pigeons exploding in Iraq.

All other uses[edit | edit source]

A War Pigeon is a bird that always flies home. Many philosophers have pondered over the question of:'If a War Pigeon always flies home, how can it need to ever fly home?' for many years, before giving up being a Philosopher as it doesn't pay the bills.

See also[edit | edit source]