User:JigsySaw817/Denzel Crocker

Denzel Cocker

“He's a bit of a loser.”

~ Captain Understatement on Denzel Cocker

“Aaaaahhhhhh... he's hideous! It's like he's been beat up silly with an old lady stick!”

~ Kurt Cobain on Denzel's appearance

How Cocker evolved...

Denzel Cocker (b. November 12, 1962)is a specialist redneck fairy catcher, talk show host, megalomaniac teacher, drug dealer, condom dealer, woman's clothes specialist, and much more. Mr. Cocker is perfectly normal, and isn't a n00b that deserves embarrassment from you Uncyclopedia goons.

History of a Man

Cocker experiences multiple orgasms from his inability to catch fairy godparents.

Denzel Cocker, born Denzel Cocker Gumball Oops Eggwobble Underpants on November 12, 1962, when Albert Einstein has accidentally drawn his potions together. Ingredients for these potions include diarrhea and buttfucking. Denzel is sent to Earth to be with the humans, but scared everybody away with his hideous face, ears on his neck, and twitched back. Cocker was then granted Fairy Godparents by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

"Denzel Cockers" are considered an ugly subspecies of humans, and Timmy Turner sent them towards a "planet of Cockers", and after the Holocaust Era (five dollar cereal, can be yours today, 50% free!), Denzel decided to become a teacher, where he encountered the little rebellious misfit by the name of Timmy Turner. Um, jukebox, please?

"He was born in sodomy, he's a bitch, people see him and say, "Why don'cha take a hitch?" He went to college, he tried to change his 'fro, but all he got was a big pee-o! Yo, yo, Cocker, the man..."

Catching Fairy Godparents

After wanting to catch "FAIRY GODPARENTS!", Denzel Cocker's life was a failure.