HowTo:Properly Whore Your Article

Yes. Yes you are.

“Article whoring is only for people with good articles.”

~ Oscar Wilde

You've just created your first article. Now you want to share it with everyone, right? Sure, you might wait for someone to find your article and link to it from other articles, but this process is long and your article is likely to be deleted during this time as it is orphaned. (This means no pages link to it.) One popular way to make your article known by the masses is article whoring. This is the action of posting links to your article so that it may have more pages link to it, thus saving your page from being orphaned and forgotten. After reading that last sentence, you might want to do it now. Well, don't do it just yet. Before you do this, you must first learn how to whore your articles properly. This is where this guide comes in handy. With the useful tips you will find here, you may now safely whore your articles without the admins coming down on your ass about it.

You don't want to be like this guy. He whored his articles like mad and ended up getting infini-banned for it.

Be subtle

One of the most important things that most people do not always seem to understand when whoring their articles is a frequently forgotten tactic called subtlety. This means implementing clever methods to conceal your whored article when editing another page. The key to successful article whoring is to not have your whored article stick out like a sore thumb on a page and have it hide in the shadows. Below are some bad, and good examples, of using subtlety while article whoring.

• Read it, asshole. You will change forever. [[crappy article]]

Bad Your whored article(s) stick(s) out like a sore thumb this way. Anyway(s), don't call everyone asshole(s).

• If I were to whore my articles, I would use a more subtle approach.

Good Your whored article(s) is/are more concealed this way, therefore making your articles better-received by the masses.

If you master this one tactic, then all of the other strategies on this page will be useless to you. That doesn't mean you can't use them anymore, but they will no longer provide you with enough satisfaction if you use them.

Link to your article from related articles

If you want to be more than just subtle, then you can link to your article from other articles. Just make sure that those articles are in some way related to the one you are whoring.

• This edit

Bad *Crappy article* is in no way related to HAL 9000. Neither is any article that's related to Powershot related to HAL 9000.

• This edit

Good Acute Haemorrhagic Pneumonosyphilaidsorrhea Pox Virus Syndrome is a disease. Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis is a disease as well. Therefore, it makes sense to whore an article about a certain disease on an article which is also about a disease.

Link to your article on templates

Another nifty way is to whore your article on templates. Remember the rule that if you whore your article on a template, be sure that the template is in some way related to your whored article.

• This edit to the UnNews main page

Bad *Crappy article* is NOT a news article.

• This edit to Template:Wargame

Good Fall Of The Roman Empire (video game) is a wargame article, so it made sense to whore it on the wargame template.

Link to your article in edit summaries

Use square brackets to drop a link to your article in an edit summary. Again, the key here is subtlety. Don't just vandalise a page to do this; make it a payload on a useful edit. If you have nothing useful to contribute, don't worry!

The accidental edit

This is the epitome of smooth moves, and it goes like this. "Accidentally" add some stuff – stuff that really belongs on the article you're trying to whore – to a prominent page. Then revert it back, with a message like this one:

Rv self Oops, meant to add it to Whore (23:29, 2 January 2007 (UTC))

Although this doesn't last, it produces a concentrated result for a short period. You'll be well on your way to "enhancing the ontological wikilink structure of the project", i.e. whoring like a pro.

Whoring your article on the IRC channel

There is another special way to whore your article, and that is to post the link to your article on the IRC channel. It's quite simple: First, copy the URL of your article, then go to the chat page (instead of the cabal or doing anything else as there are no alternatives whatsoever to this step) and post it along with a friendly message such as, "Hey guys, check this out!"

Advantages

• There are many people that use IRC, so this means many people will view your article.
• Using an IRC client is easy.

Disadvantages

• Admins will ban you from the IRC channel if they catch you whoring your article on there.
• Admins will ban you.

See also

• An example of improper article whoring by a n00b

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